So that we might cling to Him

"Christ did not come into the world so that we might comprehend Him, but so that we might cling to Him, so that we might let Him simply pull us into the tremendous story of the resurrection. He came so that we might simply let Him tell us in total incomprehensibility: You are dead - and yet you have risen! You are in the dark - and yet you are in the light. You are afraid - and yet you can rejoice. These totally incompatible things are side by side only a hair's breadth apart. Just like the two worlds, our world and God's world, they are side by side only a hair breadth apart.....

Our visible life with its joys and successes, with it's worries and trouble and its painful disobedience stands holy and innocent and perfect for Jesus Christ's sake in that hidden world of God before the eyes of the Almighty, today and tomorrow and forever. And no tear flows in vain and no sigh goes unheard; no pain is disparaged and no jubilation is lost. The visible world brutally and heartlessly and violently marches over all of that. But out of grace and mercy and great love, God gathers up our burning, blazing life... Our true life is hidden - but it is solidly grounded in eternity." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Walk with me

"I want Jesus to walk with me. I want Jesus to walk with me. All along my pilgrims journey, I want Jesus to walk with me. When i'm in trouble, walk with me. When i'm in trouble, walk with me. When my heart is almost breaking, I want Jesus to walk with me. Well in my trials, walk with me. In my trials, walk with me. When my head is bowed in sorrow, you know i want Jesus, i want Jesus, i want Jesus to walk with me." - Song lyrics by Eric Bibb

Forgotten Faces

The above images are by a street artist called Michael Aaron. He's a Christian and i like the stuff he does and the reasons behind it.

His Name

"All hail the Lamb, enthroned on high, His praise shall be our battle cry. He reigns victorious, forever glorious, His name is Jesus, He is the Lord." - Dave Bilbrough

I've been thinking recently about the significance of names - both our own names and the names of God. Psalm 9.10 says "those who know Your name put their trust in You." There is incredible trust & faith & hope & victory that arises simply out of knowing God in the light of His names. But more than that, i've been thinking about our own position in relation to this.

I noticed something remarkable recently. Rather than being labelled with our own name, the name that will be publicly on us, the name which others will see and will be written on our foreheads, is GOD'S name, not ours. Rev 22.4 says: "They will see His face, and His name will be on their foreheads." Or as the King James says "in their foreheads" - which suggests the name we dwell on, and is engraved right into us, is His. Rev 14.1 also says "on Mount Zion stood the Lamb and with Him 144,000, who had His name and His Father's name written on their foreheads." I honestly love this. I can't think of any other name that i would rather have written on me than the name of my God. It is a thousand times better than having my own name.

That's not to say we don't have our own names... we have names now - some with good meanings, some with bad meanings.... but ultimately God will give each of us a new name, that defines us much better than any name we're known by now. It says in Rev 2.17 "I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it." But what i love about this, is that it's private.

The name that is written on us, as a public statement of who we belong to, is God's. We are first and foremost known as His.. as His people, as His body.. as His. It's His name that matters not ours. It's who HE IS that matters, not us. I was packing this week, and labelled my boxes with my name... because they belonged to me, and that's all i wanted other people to know.. not all the details of what was in them, just who's they were. He is the One that matters.. and even the name on us will stand to point back to Him.. for His glory.. because it's all about Him.

But i guess, because He loves us, and because there is a depth of intimacy in the way He relates to us, He still gives us names too. He still has an affectionate way to refer to us. I'm happy to know He will give me a new name.. and i am happy that it's just between me and Him. I don't know why exactly though, but i just love the fact that it's HIS name that is written on me, not my own... but i love too that He still does rename me.

"No man can burn a label into flesh and make it stay, when heaven disagrees." - Calvin Miller

Overcoming

"Revelation 12:11—"They overcame the devil by the blood of the lamb, for they loved not their lives even unto death"—what does that say? You overcome the devil by the gospel, by believing you are covered by the blood. You overcame by applying and teaching and preaching the blood of Christ, and then by being so sacrificially dedicated to people's lives that you are willing to die rather than run away from a situation. When that happens, when martyrs covered by the blood loving people happens, Satan is defeated. I don't think in order to be seriously engaged in spiritual warfare (where you are freeing people from the powers of the evil one), you have to do exorcisms week in and week out. You have to be a faithful, loving, humble, and repenting teacher—a lover of people. Satan is a liar and therefore he will not abide truth. He is a murderer, and therefore he will not abide love. So if you are a truth-giver and a deep, self-sacrificing lover, you will win." - John Piper, taken from this article

On the palms of His hands..

"See, i have engraved you on the palms of my hands." - Isaiah 49.16

"I have graven thee." It does not say, "Thy name." The name is there, but that is not all: "I have graven thee." See the fulness of this! I have graven thy person, thine image, thy case, thy circumstances, thy sins, thy temptations, thy weaknesses, thy wants, thy works; I have graven thee, everything about thee, all that concerns thee; I have put thee altogether there. Wilt thou ever say again that thy God hath forsaken thee when He has graven thee upon His own palms?" - Spurgeon

The Lord of sea and sky

"I, the Lord of sea and sky, I have heard my people cry; all who dwell in dark and sin my hand will save. I, who made the stars of night, I will make their darkness bright. Who will bear my light to them? Whom shall i send?

Here I am Lord. Is it I Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go, Lord, if you lead me; I will hold your people in my heart.

I, the Lord of snow and rain, I have borne my people's pain; I have wept for love of them - they turn away. I will break their hearts of stone, give them hearts for love alone; I will speak my word to them. Whom shall i send?

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go, Lord, if you lead me; I will hold your people in my heart.

I, the Lord of wind and flame, I will tend the poor and lame. I will set a feast for them - my hand will save. Finest bread I will provide till their hearts are satisfied; I will give my life to them. Whom shall I send?

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go, Lord, if you lead me; I will hold your people in my heart." - Daniel Schutte

My family has this song on a c.d. We used to listen to it when we were young and we always referred to this song as my little brother's song. I think it was his favourite one. But i like it as well. I like the lyrics. I like the hope that is portrayed in them; the promise that God hears His people's cry, that He will save those who are in the darkest places, that He feels their pain, that He notices the poorest and most feeble of all and that He will set a feast for them and satisfy them. I love it. And i think that the call to us, as His people, is a very real one. I want to always be in a place where i can say back 'here i am Lord'... but i guess as the last line of the song says, we can only say 'here i am', alongside 'if you lead me'... because we can't do any of this alone. We're not even meant to. We can only do it in and through Him and as and when He calls us.

Amazing grace...

"AMAZING GRACE, HOW SWEET THE SOUND, THAT SAVED A WRETCH LIKE ME.."

-John Newton

I realised that i would normally be reluctant to post a photo of one of my paper-cuts, but today i decided not to care. It's not that i think it's great or want to show it off, it's more that i simply don't mind what it looks like - i am a wretch, whether i can cut paper well or not doesn't even matter - the point is that still, despite everything, God saved a wretch like me. Who or what i am, or what i can or can't do seems almost irrelevant right now - what matters most is the beauty of God's grace... grace that saves me even if i have absolutely nothing i can offer back..... what matters is God, not us.... and i want to declare how truly beautiful He is and how marvelous His grace is.

The glory of God

"We are all starved for the glory of God, not self. No one goes to the Grand Canyon to increase self-esteem. Why do we go? Because there is greater healing for the soul in beholding splendor than there is in beholding self. Indeed, what could be more ludicrous in a vast and glorious universe like this than a human being, on the speck called earth, standing in front of a mirror trying to find significance in his own self-image? It is a great sadness that this is the gospel of the modern world." - John Piper, via Mercies New

The pure diet..

When i was a child i was allergic to certain ingredients in food - mainly additives, e-numbers, colours, flavourings and monosodium glutamate. Basically food that was processed or had a lot of unnatural things added to it; it made me extremely hyperactive and aggressive and stopped me from sleeping. Quite simply, i had to be on a very natural, pure diet. Man-made foods with all their additives made me restless and sleepless.

Last week i went for 11 nights, with an average of only one hours sleep a night. It was awful and i felt like i was losing my mind. But somewhere in the midst of it i realised again how important our thought life is. I realised that in the same way that processed foods stopped me sleeping as a child, over-processing my thoughts stopped me sleeping now. As soon as i filled my mind with people's opinions, or my own ideas, and tried to over-analyse them, then i was restless and agitated and couldn't get any rest. My dear brother sat up with me nearly all night last Saturday and kept directing back to what the Bible said. And i discovered that feeding on pure food; the word of God, calmed me again. I've realised again how utterly essential it is to have a store of Biblical truth to fight with at all times and how important it is to just focus on the truth of what God says, when you can't understand anything else.

"I have esteemed the words of His mouth, more than my necessary food." - Job 23.12

"Blessed is the one.. who's delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on His law day and night. That person is like a stream planted by streams of water, which yields it's fruit in season.." - Psalm 1

He is good.

"You have been good - You will be good to me." - Brian Doerkson

And i guess He can be nothing else. For He Himself IS goodness.

Wrinkles of the City

I did a post on the photographer JR once before, but i was just checking out his latest work again and came across his new series entitled 'Wrinkles of the City'. I like his work a lot. He makes giant size versions of his pictures then posts them around a city. The photos above were taking in Shanghai.

Exceedingly great and precious promises.

"Exceeding great and precious promises." - 2 Peter 1.4

I love that sentence. It is so true. The promises of God are exceedingly great and precious. I just read something by Spurgeon related to this, and it encouraged me. He says:

"My eye must not so much be fixed upon the greatness of the mercy - that may stagger me; as upon the greatness of the promiser - that will cheer me. My soul, it is God, even thy God, God that cannot lie, who speaks to thee... He is a God unchangeable. He has not altered the things which have gone out of His mouth, nor called back one single consolatory sentence. Nor doth He lack any power; it is the God that made the heaves and the earth who has spoken thus. Nor can He fail in wisdom as to the time when He will bestow the favours, for He knoweth when it is best and when better to withhold. Therefore, seeing that it is the word of a God so true, so immutable, so powerful, so wise, I will and must believe the promise."

I've been thinking again about how nearly everything comes down to deeply and intimately knowing the character of God - I mean really knowing God. You can hear as much as you want about how to live life, or what God promises, but the thing which makes the difference in any of it, the thing which makes it sweet to obey, the thing which gives you confidence in believing His word, is actually deeply and intimately knowing God Himself. The thing which enables you to wait for His promises to be fulfilled.... and to keep waiting.... and to keep waiting..... is knowing Him; knowing He is true to His word, but also knowing that even if He slayed you, even if you had to wait forever, He is still enough for you now. He is enough. I don't always live like He is enough, but deep down, i know it is true.

"He is altogether lovely." - Song of Songs 5.16

Release

My sister, Hannah, sent me an article she had written about the Chilean miners who have been trapped under ground for the last 2 months. She wrote it a few weeks ago, and today they are finally being rescued. It's moving to watch and i found my sister's article encouraging. Here is an extract:

'Images of this mining disaster remind me of a sermon by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, preached almost 70 years ago, called How a Prisoner Waits for His Release. In this message, Bonhoeffer used the analogy of miners trapped underground as a poignant image of our lives as humans, waiting for rescue and freedom:

“They are trapped deep in the earth, dark as night, cut off alone… here in the deepest depths of the lowest shaft, there is no hope. There remains only agony and waiting for death. And what if then, a light sound is heard, like a knocking, a hammer blow, a breaking of stone!… It is really about Advent that I am speaking. Those events are precisely what happens in the drawing near of God to humankind, the coming of deliverance, the arrival of Christ. ‘Stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.’”

For those who are sick, lonely, or in prison, for the broken-hearted and the homeless, the words come like a glimmer of torch light in the distance, or star light over a stable in Bethlehem…“Not long now! Lift up your head! Don’t worry, your rescuer isn’t far away!”

To all who are burdened and weary from the weight of guilt, suffocating in the darkness of shame and unable to find a way out, the call comes. “There is a knock at the door. Don’t you hear it? It will guide you through all your rubble, the stoniness of your heart. That doesn’t happen quickly, but it comes. Christ breaks his way through to you, to your heart.”'

Stand and wait

"...God doth not need either man's work or his own gifts: who best bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. (...) They also serve who only stand and wait."

John Milton, On his Blindness

I read the above quote recently, via a friend of mine. I like it.

All my springs are in You.

'Singers and dancers alike say, "All my springs are in You."' - Psalm 87

I like this verse. I reckon it applies to more than just singers and dancers too. At least i want it to. I want all my springs to be in Him. All that flows from me to come from Him. Whether it's flowing into a song, or a dance, or some other creative thing... or whether it's just the simple things i say or do; I want all my springs to be in Him.

Standing on the rock.

I was talking to a friend today about how sometimes everything in life can seem misty and like you can't see the way ahead, but you have to remember that you are standing on the rock that is God. I was remembering a time in Sheffield, just before i was ill, when i went onto a hilltop which overlooked the city. It was really misty that day and you couldn't see anything much... there was a big rock which i went and stood on, and i felt God remind me that when things got misty in life just to remember i was standing on Him... and that the mist would pass. After i had this conversation today i came home and randomly came across this stream of photos by Randy P Martin. It encouraged me, because they basically illustrate the exact thing i was thinking about. I like the fact that the girl is standing on a rock in all of the photos, but not all of the photos are misty. In the last couple there is no mist and she is in a setting of flowing water. Anyway, i admit that i am quick to forget, as even this evening i was feeling a little disheartened and confused again, but i guess that's the exact reason why we need to remember that God is our rock at all times.

This town.

Worthing seemed so weary and tired today. I sat on a bus and watched the people on it and the people that we passed as i looked through the window. And i couldn't help but cry. The old chinese man to my left, with his ankle-swingers and crooked glasses, kept rubbing his eyes and his head drooped wearily. The lady at the front, in her red fleece, ran her fingers through her hair whilst letting out gentle sighs... her eyes had dark bags underneath, and her face had sadness written into every line. The man next to her, i've seen countless times before, he muttered to himself, closed his eyes and seemed to fall asleep. Every now and then he'd open then again and look at me with the most piercing gaze. He was old. He was tired.

And the man that made me cry the most, was the one i saw through the scratched window pane. He was standing by the war memorial, reading the names. He had his hat clutched against his chest, as a sign of respect and honour, and in that moment i felt something of his heart. I realised again what loss the war caused... and what grief old men live with, because of the after-effects. Even as i returned home on the bus, and passed the war memorial again, i cried. There was no-one outside this time, the man had gone, but the way he had held his hat, and his expression lingered in my mind.

What i was left with, was an overwhelming sense of a weary town. And what struck me even more was a fear that all our hype and all our fancy meetings won't reach these kind of people much. They need something real.. they need a depth of love.. they need people to sit with them, to listen to them, to walk with them, to care for them, to be Jesus to them. An old lady sitting all alone in her home won't be changed much by the hyped up atmosphere of a Church meeting.. don't get me wrong, i want to see the Holy Spirit at work in Church meetings, i want to see people joyfully expressing their love for Jesus.. i know that He is the only One who can offer people real hope and meet their needs. He is the only One who can save their souls and bring them peace and comfort enough to endure their loneliness and weariness. I know the difference it makes to experience the Holy Spirit and have Him as the strength you live through - i know we need this. We can't even love people without it coming from the love God gives us - we need to be filled with His spirit even for this.

I just worry sometimes that we might focus too much on experiences and long too much for manifestations of His spirit, and forget about the simple call He gives us to love one another, and the fruits of the Spirit.. love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control. I want to be filled with His Spirit more.. but not just so we have a good meeting, but so that i bare fruit and am truly empowered to go out and reach people.. so i'm empowered to love and care for them and be Jesus to them. I don't care about the experience for the sake of experience alone.

"If i have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, i am nothing." - 1 Cor 13

"He has told you, o man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you? to act justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?" - Micah 6.8

God is here

“Coming close, close enough to feel her pain, remember the words of another one suffering, God is here. Coming close, closer this time, if you wanna see Jesus look into her eyes; look into her eyes. God is here. See the city where she lives in this dirty place, see the beggars and the whores and the homeless faces, God is here. See the children who are sleeping and the woman who is drunk and the man with the sign that says he’s down on his luck. See the man with the sign give another his blanket; if you didn’t look close you wouldn’t think it, but God lives here. Come in close, closer this time; the miracle of laughter, the miracle of life, God is here. Here in the places we call hopeless, you call out your kingdom and you call it beautiful. Here out of the ashes you build cities of hope; cities of hope. He says “this is my home and these are my children, you wanna see me, you gotta see them”. God is here. He says “this is my home and these are my children, you wanna see me, you gotta see them.” - Song lyrics by Kate Hurley

I will wait

"All the days of my struggle i will wait, until my change comes."

- Job 14:14

I don't remember ever having read this verse before, but i like it.

The thumb alone.

' I have a bookcase filled with surgical textbooks that describe operations people have devised for the injured hand: different ways to rearrange the tendons, muscles and joints, ways to replace sections of bones and mechanical joints - thousands of surgical procedures. But i know of no procedure that succeeds in improving a normal hand.... After operating on thousands of hands, I must agree with Isaac Newton, "In the absence of any other proof, the thumb alone would convince me of God's existance." ' - Paul Brand

My soul clings to you..

"O God, you are my God, earnestly i seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So i have looked upon you in the sanctury, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you..... My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips... My soul clings to you; Your right hand upholds me." Psalm 63

I was thinking about this Psalm recently and am amazed by how it progresses and how different the second half is from the first. I'm so glad that neither half sounds alone, but that they are right there together. David wrote it in the wilderness and isn't afraid to declare the state of his thirst and weariness... yet He still chooses to praise God because of the truth of who God is and the truth of His love... and He clings to the promises He has.. that His soul will be satisfied.. completely and utterly satisfied. I don't know if David felt that satisfaction then or not, I don't know if he uttered those words through parched lips.. the fact that he says afterwards that his soul clings to God, suggests that maybe he was still feeling weak and still feeling thirsty, but was making that choice to cling to God and hope in Him nonetheless. Either way, i'm glad that it's written how it is.. I'm glad all the Psalms are written how they are.. that they don't shy away from the pain and agony of life, but they face it and acknowledge it and then offer hope...

A weight of future glory...

"God knows all this World's weight and burden and heaviness and if there were not a weight of future glory to counterpoise it, we should all sink into nothing." John Donne

"Our last day is our first day; our Saturday is our Sunday; our eve is our holy day; our sunsetting is our morning; the day of our death is the first day of our eternal life. The next day after that... comes that day that shall show me to myself. Here i never saw myself but in disguises; there, then, I shall see myself, but i shall see God too... Here i have one faculty enlightened, and another left in darkness; mine understanding sometimes cleared, my will at the same time perverted. There i shall be all light, no shadow upon me; my soul invested in the light of joy, and my body in the light of glory." - John Donne

"He began with prayers that the pain be removed; he ends with prayers that the pain be redeemed, that he be 'catechised by affliction'. Such redemption might take the form of miraculous cure - he still hoped so - but even if it did not, God could take a crude lump and through the refiner's fire of suffering make of it pure gold." - Philip Yancey on John Donne

Little Drifters...

I decided to make a couple of little drifters while i was by the sea this weekend. I was inspired by the Little Drifters project i read about on this website. Admittedly mine only floated for about a second each, but i put that down to the fact that it was exceptionally windy.. i could barely stay standing, let alone these little 'boats'! Anyway, i can't say i put much effort into them, but thought i'd post the photos none-the-less. I did get some pretty strange looks from passer-bys!

20 years ago today.

I got baptised 20 years ago today. When i was 7 years old. Some people might think that was too young, but i knew what i was doing and made the decision myself. I remember asking my Mum one night in the bathroom, and then i remember having to chat it through with my Church leader. He gave me an analogy to make sure i really understood what Jesus had done for me, and i cried my eyes out. My parents gave me a new Bible that day, and wrote this verse in the front of it:

"For I the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I will help you.' " - Isaiah 41:13

Quite an appropriate verse for me, seeing as i was always a little bit of an over-worrier as a child. Anyway, what i wanted to say was that God has been true to His word, and has faithfully helped me these last 20 years... and the 7 years before that too. I'm incredibly grateful for that, and am incredibly glad to be His.

On the Edge...

I came across the photography of Yan Seiler a while back. I love the way he captures people and gives you glimpses into the life of so many different cultures... especially people groups who are more on the edge of society. I wanted to post nearly all his photos on here, but instead i recommend you check out his website. His shots are powerfully emotive and compassionate... particularly his series 'The Outsiders', which shows people suffering from leprosy in India, and his series documenting the lives of those living in garbage dumps in Cambodia.

Photos:

1. Nusa Lembongan, Indonesia 2.Ouighour Tea Shop, China 3. At the Edge - Gypsies in Romania. 4. Dreams - Immigration from West Africa, The Gambia 5. Shepherd in Uzbekistan 6. Shepherd in Uzbekistan.

His words..

In Your words there is certainty. The only words in existance that come with a life-time guarantee. I'd like to live inside Your words.. like little caves, take refuge in them. Hide away in the curls of each letter, clinging on to each stroke. Your words abide forever. I'd like to set sail in them.. in Your boat; carved and knitted from Your thoughts, Your phrases, Your promises. I'm sure such a boat could never sink. It will carry me safely to Your shores. Your words are life, as YOU are The Word. So there is no better place to abide. Let me abide in Your words forever.

- I wrote the above in my diary a year ago, i just found it and it reminded me again of the truth that is found in God's word alone.... truth that is so much richer and provides so much more security than all the World's lies...

Stoop Sitting...

Everyone Forever Now - "Stoop Sitting" from Everynone on Vimeo.

I like this little video a lot....

Hopeless??

" Your wound is incurable, your injury beyond healing. There is no-one to plead your cause, no remedy for your sore, no healing for you. All your allies have forgotten you; they care nothing for you. I have struck you as an enemy would and punished you as would the cruel, because your guilt is so great and your sins are many. Why do you cry out over your wound, your pain that has no cure? Because of your great guilt and many sins I have done these things to you.......... 'But i will restore you to health and heal your wounds,' declares the Lord, 'because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no-one cares.' This is what the Lord says: "'I will restore..... and have compassion..... the city will be rebuild on her ruins... From them will come songs of thanksgiving.... I will bring them honour.... You will be my people and I will be your God.'" - Jeremiah 30.12-32

I have always thought this is an incredible passage. I read it again today. It strikes me as incredible because God says to Israel that their wounds are so bad that they are completely incurable.. there is absolutely no hope for them... no one who can restore them, no way for them to be healed... literally NONE.. everyone has given up on them, they have no allies left... NO-ONE cares for them anymore... basically, according to what God says, there's not a hope in the World for them.. they are afflicted, in pain, wounded and crying out and their state is beyond healing, beyond a cure.. Not only this, but it's actually caused by their own sin, it's not just a case where they are suffering because of the sin of others, or because we live in a fallen World and sometimes affliction happen to us.... but they are guilty, they are actually to blame for this. If there is an example of an utterly hopeless situation then this is it. YET despite ALL this, God then says the most amazing and incredible thing... right in the midst of declaring how incurable they are, how sinful they are, He suddenly says "BUT I WILL RESTORE YOU TO HEALTH AND HEAL YOUR WOUNDS." Just like that. Despite everything, God then declares that actually, there IS hope after all... that even though they have hit rock-bottom, even though there is no hope left in the World, even though they are black in their sin, even though they can do nothing to heal themselves, God will still come and restore them. And the reason He gives for coming to them and restoring and healing them is this: because they are outcasts, because no-one cares for them. It's not because they have thousands of people pleading on their behalf, it's not because they've suddenly sorted themselves out, it's not because they've found some worldly way to be better... it's not because they've done anything great, it's simply because they are nobodies.. they are outcasts.. they are sinners.. they are afflicted... and no-one cares for them. God is simply demonstrating the absolute depths of His mercy and compassion and love and choosing to come and save and heal and restore them, just because He loves them and because it pleases Him to do so.

This honestly gives me such a sense of hope. I was thinking yesterday about how weird prayer is.. i was thinking about how some people might have thousands of people praying for them, but others may have never had anyone pray for them at all.. and i was wondering if the way God acted towards them depended on this. To be honest, i was thinking it seemed a little unfair, that God may show favour to one person because they have had so many prayers offered up on their behalf, whereas someone else, who lives all alone with no support and no-one to pray for them, may be overlooked.. but this passage suggests otherwise... and i'm really glad about that... as much as i value prayer and think we are called to plead on each other's behalf, i'm still so glad that God doesn't ignore those that no-one cares for, that no-one pleads for. He still sees them. He still goes to them. He still chooses to heal them.. even if not a single person on earth sees or cares. And i'm glad that even if sickness or afflictions are caused by our own sin (and obviously that's not always the case), but even if they are.. then there is still hope.. and God still promises to heal and restore and declares that we are still HIS people and HE is still our God.

Skin Stories.....

Skin Stories from Becky Fox on Vimeo.

LOVE

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on it's own way; It is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, endures all things." 1 Cor 13:4-7

I was thinking about the word love recently and how many different ways we can use it and how it has different meanings. Often people use the word love to describe things that they like; things that they appreciate or admire or see something good or beautiful in. Like we say that we love a piece of music, or love a sunset... what we mean is that there is something in that music and in the sunset that appeals to our senses, that makes a sense of appreciation rise up within us, that makes us feel a fondness towards that thing. We might not even know exactly why, but quite simply the other thing brings us some level of joy, which makes us love it. But i was thinking how this type of love very much depends upon some merit in the object that we love. One of the ways in which we love God is probably like this... we see something good and beautiful in Him and we love Him for it.. we love Him, because He first loved us... even the Bible says that... we appreciate Him.. we admire Him.. we want to praise Him... quite simply there is something altogether beautiful and love-able about Him that makes us love Him. And i think we often love people like this too.... often we might say to a friend that we love them, and we are basing it on things we see in them which we love... certain qualities and attributes, certain mannerisms... just things that we value about them. I don't think this is a bad thing... i think it's good to love people like this, it's good to see the best in them, it's good to appreciate things about them... and there are definitely so many things to love in every human being we come across, because every person is made in the image of God. So i think this is definitely part of what love means, but still i'm pretty sure it falls short of what the Bible often means by love. The problem with this type of love alone is that it's almost inactive - it doesn't require us to do anything, or give anything as such.. except that we give praise and we appreciate what we see in the other..... infact, rather than asking us to give, it almost demands something of the other person instead... it demands a love-able characteristic in them... It requires something good in the thing being loved.

However, i think there is a whole other depth to the meaning of love that is far beyond a simple appreciation of something or someone, and i think that this it the type of love that God is getting at when He asks us to love others. It's the way in which He loves us... He didn't originally love us because of good things He saw in us.. it wasn't that He just admired us... but He loved us while we were still sinners. He felt affection and tenderness towards us not because we deserved it, or merited it in the same way that a beautiful sunset might, but simply because He chose to. I can't get my head round this. All i know is that this is what He asks us to do for others too. He asks us to love even our enemies... It's not an inactive love, He's not simply asking us to admire them for certain things as such, but He's asking us to actively show them an attitude of love.. to be patient and kind towards them, rather than rude or resentful, to forgive them, to give to them when they are in need, to bear with them, support them, encourage them and help them. It's not demanding something of the other person... but it's demanding something of US. It's the love that asks us to give ourselves to others, to feed the hungry and visit the sick and care for widows and orphans, to clothe those who are naked, to share truth with those who live under lies.

The main difference i noticed between these two types of love, is that the first requires a positive thing in the person, whereas the second reaches out to fill a deficit. And the reason it can do that is because it is actually LOVE itself that contains everything good and beautiful, because love IS God and He is the only One who actually is perfectly good and beautiful and worthy of admiration and praise. He knows that He is the only source of anything good and if we do see those things in others, it comes from Him anyway.... so what He asks of us, is not to just admire things in others, but to love others in a way which lets His very self live in us and overflow from us and impart His goodness to them. What i'm getting at, is that in a way, the fewer characteristics that someone has that we think are love-able, the more they probably need love... because love itself has a redemptive and restorative effect... it bears fruit, it's the source of life and goodness... in our act of loving others we are letting God, who is love, flood into that person.. and He is the one who is the source of anything that we may later appreciate in them. I guess it's a little like land that is completely parched.. the more dry and cracked it is, the more it needs water... it would be stupid to say that the land had to be looking lush and green and overflowing with flowers and trees BEFORE we ever watered it... it needs the water to turn out like that.. and if it's just bare, with no flowers or trees that doesn't mean we withhold water, it means we give water even more.. because it is truly in need of it.

At the same time though, i'm not suggesting that love is devoid of affection or feeling.. even though this love is more active and doesn't require anything of the other person, i think we are still asked to love deeply and warmly and to feel true affection towards the person, not just do things out of duty. And the only way that is possible is to ask God for His love for others, and to let that be what abides in us. Our own love is feeble and half-hearted and nothing at all in comparison with His. My desire is to let Him live in me so fully, that His love and His heart for others naturally overflows from me.

Skin Stories....

I had a few sleepless nights recently and spontaneously decided to doodle on my skin... maybe not the best way to spend a sleepless night, but never mind... i did several different doodles on different days and when you put them together they kind of tell a story.. at least a story that makes sense to me, even if no-one else would understand it. I was going to turn it into a stop-motion.. not cos i think it's good, i don't (they are doodles and the photos are bad and there are annoying shadows from the flash due to the fact that it was late at night...), but more cos i wasted the time doing it, so figured at least it would have some meaning for me... but i can't get the stop motion to work, so here are a few random photos from it instead!..

Light...

"I believe that every particle of dust that dances in the sunbeam does not move an atom more or less that God wishes - that every particle of spray that dashes against the steamboat has its orbit, as well as the sun in the heavens" - Spurgeon

If you could paint with flower heads..

The light today was so nice - i kinda wanted to use the flowers as a paintbrush and draw on the sky with them....

Shadows..

"They shall return and dwell beneath my shadow; they shall flourish like the grain; they shall blossom like the vine.... It is I who answer and look after you. I am like an evergreen cypress; from me comes your fruit." - Hosea 14:7-8

The shadows of flowers...

I loved the way the flowers cast shadows on my hand today... i could have sat there for hours and watched them dancing from the movement of the wind...

Masquerading signs and wild flowers....

I had to go out to get some stamps today and on the way back i was tired, so decided to follow a footpath which i presumed would be a short-cut home. But i was wrong. Very wrong. I walked for ages and ended up coming out on a main-road about 5 times further away from my house than i had been to begin with! I think i laughed out-loud at this point. However, despite the tiredness, this footpath did take me on a nice walk... through fields of cows and down pretty paths which were laced with wild-flowers and blackberries. I broke the law and picked a few so i could put them in a little vase in my room.

One of the fields that i walked past had so many poppies in it... i love poppies and really wanted to be able to pick one, but there was a barbed wire fence so i couldn't go in.... so i whispered a little prayer instead, that maybe i could find a poppy by the side of the path.. and a few minutes later i did. It was a bruised and battered poppy, but i loved it and it made me smile, cos i figured God has put it there just for me.. and then i saw a couple more unbruised poppies, which i couldn't help but pick. I know maybe that was bad of me, but i decided that seeing as God has answered my childish simple prayer, then maybe He wouldn't mind if i picked it and brought it home to put on my window-sill and to remind me that He hears even our little whispers and bizarre requests! Anyway, there is absolutely no point whatsoever to this post... except i'm grateful that even on long-detour-routes there are things to make you smile on the way.

Sitting by the sea

Yesterday, on my way home from seeing a good friend of mine, i stopped on the seafront and sat on the pebbles for a while. I didn't read much, or listen to music, or do anything at all, i just sat there. But it was nice. Really nice. I felt completely at peace and like it was good to just sit, and to just be. I watched these kids playing in the sea - personally i would have thought it was far too cold to be in the sea, and obviously the kids parents thought the same - they were huddled together under several layers... but the children themselves were running around completely free... half-naked, uninhibited and unconcerned by the wind or the temperature, or anything at all. There was another little boy who was standing on this rock. His parents were trying to change his nappy. He was obviously so excited to be by the sea that he was just standing there, twirling round and round in circles, whilst his Dad attempted to clean him up and change his pants and his Mum was trying to wipe his nose. It made me smile. The way he was so free, and so unaware of what his parents were doing for him. And i loved the way that his parents just let him twirl, and just let him be, even though they had to change his pants and wipe his nose and completely take care of him at that same moment. And i realised again how much joy children give and children have, even though they don't achieve great things, or try to prove anything - i mean they don't even take care of themselves, or know how to make themselves clean. They let other people do it for them. They are completely humble, they know how to receive. They know how to just be. You can learn a lot from kids.

I love how similar these four photos are, in their simplicity and composition and style... yet how they clearly all tell different stories and create completely different atmospheres... Actually i have purposefully ordered them in a way which tells my own story, but i doubt that order will make sense to anyone but me...

Photos by: 1. Berta 2. Coquinete 3. Nicole Lynn 4. Coquinete

The greatest good.

I was just looking through my blog at things i've previously quoted, and came across the following, which i feel like quoting again today:

"O Lord, if this were lost instead,

And all I had was you, I would

Be rich, and have the greatest Good." - John Piper

"This is the true bride, the one who says to Christ:

I do not want what is Thine, I want Thee, Thyself.

Thou art not more dear to me when i am doing well,

nor less dear when i am doing poorly." - Martin Luther

"He is indeed enough. He is not all we would ask for (if we are honest), but it is precisely when we do not have what we would ask for, and only then, that we can clearly perceive His all-sufficiency. It is when the sea is moonless, that the Lord has become my light." - Elisabeth Elliot

"Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing." - Psalm 34:!0

Upside Down

"What looks like failure, is success. What looks like poverty, is riches. When what is truth, looks more like a knife. It looks like you're killing me, but you're saving my life. All just because i see things upside down.... What looks like weakness, can do anything. What looks like foolishness, is understanding. When what is powerful, has not come to fight. It looks like you're going to war, but you lay down your life. What looks like torture, is a time to rejoice. What sounds like thunder, is a comforting voice. When what is beautiful, looks broken and crushed. And i say i don't know you, but you say it's finished." - Derek Webb

Do you see ?

"Have you seen the old man in the closed down market, kicking up the papers with his wornout shoes, in his eyes you see no pride, hands held loosely by his side, yesterday's papers telling yesterday's news. Oh how can you tell me you're lonely and say for you that the sun doesn't shine? Oh let me take you by the hand and lead you through the streets of london, i'll show you something that'll make you change your mind. Have you seen the young girl who walks the streets of london? Dirt in her hair and her clothes in rags, she's no time for talking, she keeps right on walking, carrying her home in 2 carrier bags. In the all-night cafe at a quarter past 11, same old man sitting there on his own, looking at the world over the rim of his tea-cup, each tea lasts an hour, then he wanders home alone. Now have you seen the old man outside the seamans mission, memory fading with the medel ribbons that he wears, in our winter city while the rain crys little pity, for one more forgotten hero, and a world that doesn't care. Oh how can you tell me you're lonely and say for you that the sun doesn't shine? Oh let me take you by the hand and lead you through the streets of london, i'll show you something to make you change your mind." - Ralph McTell

A classic song. I was just listening to it and thinking.... I was thinking that there are so many people in this world who are just like the people in this song.... who no-one really notices, who no-one really sees, who the world turns a blind eye to, cos it's easier than actually seeing and actually knowing and actually caring and actually loving them. And the thing is, i think there are two types of seeing. You can see with your eyes. Or you can see with your heart. We see all-sorts with our eyes every day, and barely even absorb it... but we see much less with our hearts. I want to see people through the eyes of my heart more.. or through the eyes of God's heart. And i don't just mean so i feel pity for them and cos i think i have something i can offer them.. but more because i realise at the end of the day we are all alike... in our loneliness, in our brokenness, in our sinfulness, in our need for others... the thing is, i need others and can learn from them, as much as they may need me and can learn from me... And more often than not, i think what people need is just someone to stand with them, to love them no matter what, to not judge them or give up on them, or write them off... so that in their loneliness they know that they are not alone after all. Maybe just the simplicity of loving, accepting relationships is of more value than a lot of wise words we may try to offer.

And i truly think that the most outcast social reject is as much made in the image of God and is as much able to teach me about God as some well-revered preacher. And the funny thing is, i often feel most aware of God's presence when i am chatting to someone who society would completely reject... it's almost like God so dwells with the downcast and the humble and the broken, the people who just are what they are, that actually if you want to find Him there is more chance of meeting Him in them, than there is in a Church meeting where people are striving to look holy and pleasing in the sight of others. I'm not judging Christians... don't get me wrong.. i love meeting with Christians and when i'm cut off from their company i feel like a piece of coal that's taken out of a fire and starts to go cold. But it's just that at the times in my life when i have felt most broken and most desperately in need of Jesus' presence, i have felt more inclined to find a homeless guy on the street to chat to, than i have felt inclined to go to a church meeting. I don't really understand why, i'm just being totally honest. I'm not judging the Church for this.. i am as much a part of what makes the Church what it is as anyone else.. so in judging them, i am also judging me. But i've just realised again the last few years, that when you reach a point of desperation, nothing but the real living presence of Jesus will suffice... and it's at those times that you notice how much cultivated religion there is in a Church, and how much you desperately just need that raw reality of Jesus.. the Jesus of the Bible, who sat with and ate with sinners more than law-keeping religious men... the Jesus who had no-where to lay his head, and who completely gave Himself, to the point of death, for others... the Jesus who says 'come to me, all you who are weary and i will give you rest'.. the Jesus who doesn't care about success, or money, or social-standing, or numbers but says 'blessed are the poor in spirit.. those who mourn.. the meek...those who hunger and thirst for righteousness"... and the God who delights to dwell with "him who is contrite and lowly in Spirit..."

I don't really know what the point of this post is. I guess i'm just grateful that God sees everything and notices everything.. that there is no-one who goes unseen before God, no-one who is completely alone, because God is completely aware of everything.. all our unseen struggles and all our unseen battles. Yet at the same time i want to be a part of a people who do see others, who do care.. and i want to be part of a people who are so real and raw that they truly are a vessel for the real and raw presence of Jesus. I feel such a massive awareness of the fact that there are so many people out there who's only hope is the real Jesus.. who aren't gonna tolerate man-made religion, or half-hearted attempts to show what Jesus is like.. who need nothing less than whole-hearted brotherly love... people who are so thirsty that if they don't drink straight from Jesus, they are literally going to die... like we can't be offering people a version of Jesus that is muddy with our own religious attempts, but we have to be offering the real Jesus..... like we have to be so real and broken ourselves that we just have Jesus living in us and people see Him, not our attempt to be 'like Him'...... and if i'm honest, i feel like there is a massive barrier between the white-middle-class-church and the average-thirsty-soul that i don't even know how it's going to be broken down.. even though i am in a Church and part of a Church, even i'm acutely aware of that barrier and even i feel like i don't fit there, so i don't really know what it would be like for some people..... i feel like the barrier has to be broken down though.. like there is an urgency for it to happen... like it's a matter of life or death....life and death for the people of God, as much as life and death for those who don't yet know Him.... like i'm so thirsty for the living real presence of Jesus amongst His people, and for His people to be completely absorbed and focussed on Him...

"Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me..." - Matt 25:40

"'Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy burdened, and i will give you rest,' He said. I could find no invitations towards success or superiority in the invitations of Jesus. Grace, like water, flows to the lowest parts." - Philip Yancey