Monday, April 30, 2007

Bluebells and other things

"Suddenly the field awash with bluebells, like somebody had emptied the sky." - anon


I went to the bluebell woods yesterday with my family. I'm not too sure what Matt is doing is this picture, although it would appear that he is picking flowers?!! I'm sure he's really just getting rid of some cobwebs or bugs though, of which there were many. I seem to be making reference to nature and flowers loads these days... it's interesting the discoveries you make about yourself when you write a blog..... my frequent, re-occurring themes appear to be: art/illustration/photography, birds, flowers, children, old people, words, silence, prison, heaven and God...... it makes me wonder are these the things i think about most right now?... if so, then i really hope it's in the reverse order to the one i just listed!?

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Cecilia

The above illustrations are done by Cecilia Carlstedt, as are the following two which were done as commissioned pieces for the Australian Chamber Orchestra. I like these designs, although some of her other work is a little dark or sexual. That is expected though as it is very hard to come across any illustrator who doesn't have some work which is a little dark - after all that is the kind of world we live in. I wish it didn't have to be so though.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Bluejake


I was introduced to a photographer named Jake Dobkin. He takes a lot of photos of urban landscapes, representing life as it is. I really like the photos of his that i have seen. This photo particularly fascinates me. It's hard to see the details when it's on such a small scale; it looks more interesting when it's bigger!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Simple things

"The flowers in silence seem to breathe,
Such thoughts as language cannot tell."
- Mrs L.Burke -
Over the last few years a love of simple things has grown in me. Quite surprising really considering my head used to be full of complex and confused streams of thought. Anyone who has known me for more than 3 years would understand this. These days it has become much more quiet and simple. I think i have become more simple. Or at least i desire to be more simple. Right now, life itself feels really quite simple. But simple in a way that is captivating. Simple in a way that is as vast and deep as the ocean. The kind of simplicity that can fascinate you for hours. A simplicity that goes beyond reason and goes beyond words... yet is still simple. I love the simplicity that is seen in the faces of children or the elderly. The simplicity that is found in birds and flowers. I may sound like a gypsy or a hippy. I don't care. It may sound like i am making contradictions too. How can the face of an old person be simple? It contains the depth and wisdom of their years... but i think that with that age can come a simplicity too... a simplicity that can't really be described, but simply is. I'm not denying the complexity and pain in life... i feel that too.... i just think that there is a simplicity that can surpass even that......

....... The simplicity that is in Christ. I can make things so complex, when really it is so simple. This is the simplicity that brings peace and rest. The simplicity that sees things as they are and asks no questions, but just trusts and obeys God. The simplicity of a child. I desire this. Other people spend years trying to become more intellectual.... i would rather spend my years becoming more simple.
".... the simplicity that is in Christ." - 2 Corinthians 11.3

Friday, April 20, 2007

4am


"On solid rock i stand.... waiting for the sun to rise, with morning in it's hand... My soul awakes to melodies, the early birds are singing... their happy song; the voice of hope, that night has nearly gone."
- Picture by Cecilia Carlstedt -

Marbles

Today i played marbles with debs, on the drain in my back-garden. I'd forgotten how fun marbles are... sadly i couldn't quite remember exactly how to play... how can i forget this already? i'm only 24 ....

Anyway, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, the little ants were running around like crazy, my dog just sat there watching us, the bluebells, dandilions, forget-me-nots and daisies made me smile, and there were even some woodlice to watch! We drunk tea, discussed life and prayed together. I liked my day. I like my garden. I like spending time with debs very much.

The end.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Silence # 2

"The Lord said 'Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.' Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face....." 1 Kings 19.11-13

Silhouettes


This image is taken from a line of hand-knotted rugs called Reuber-Henning. They are designed by a painter who uses an illustrative style inspired by 19th-century German cutouts and Japanese woodblock prints. I like this design which is part of a series featuring silhouettes of children playing.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

What a nice star

There is the most amazing star in the sky tonight. I looked at it through my Dad's little binoculars and it looks like broken up crystals all glistening brightly. Very nice indeed. Well done God i say.

We Wait.

- from my dear sister -

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

For harm or for good.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good." - Genesis 50.20

I seriously love this verse. It's what Joseph says to his brothers after they had sold him into slavery and he ended up in prison for years. Even through a course of events that appear to have been governed by mans evil, Joseph can still say 'God intended it for good.' I remember hearing a talk by Simon Walker on this a few years ago. He said how this was an example of how God is always sovereign and sometimes the way God gets His people where He wants them to be is through bad circumstances. For some reason i never forgot this talk and thought about it for ages at the time. There is a similar example in Acts - the disciples were persecuted and therefore had to spread out to different regions - but because of this it enabled the gospel to be spread to different regions too. I just think it's amazing that God is so in charge of things, that He actually lets these bad things happen, cos that is the very way He intends to bring about good. It also makes me feel reassured that God will use whatever means are necessary, good or bad, to get His people where He wants them to be, for His greater good. Man can never outbeat Him. He is always ultimately in charge. Phew.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Copyright

I discovered this piece of street art by 'Copyright' (C.R. Thomas). I think it's really good and is the kinda design work that i particularly like.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

The mattress

This morning at church i was very aware of the fact that i can't sing in tune! I was thinking about how amazing it is that it doesn't actually matter to God whether or not my singing is in tune or not, cos it's our hearts that matter. I was thinking how glad i am that God may still delight in my singing, even if it's awfully out of tune and actually very ugly and horrible to everyone else! It got me thinking again about how topsy turvey things are in the kingdom of God. How we can do things that may appear very ugly to other people, things which have no worldly beauty, but are infact beautiful to God.

The clearest example is Jesus dying on the cross. If you were there at the time you would never have called it beautiful. If you had of thought it was beautiful then you would have probably been slightly disturbed in the head! How can it be beautiful to watch the Son of God being scoffed at and mocked and having thorns stuck on His head, to see Him whipped and beaten and hung on a cross, to watch Him breathing in agony as His body gave way, and to see the nails tearing through His hands and feet. That is not naturally beautiful. That is horrific. But somehow now it has become beautiful, because of all that has come from it. It is beautiful because He did it for us, to rescue us and save us. It is beautiful because He went on to rise again and conquer death and sin. It is beautiful because He was a King, yet was prepared to walk humbly as a man, just for the joy of seeing those He saved.

I was thinking again how we often have to do things, or live in ways, that appear unsightly or ugly to others, but are actually beautiful and pleasing to God. It's all upside down. When i wrote previously about how easy it is to ignore beauty... i was talking about this kind of real beauty too, not just shallow, pretentious beauty.

I was thinking too about how much i like to see life and joy and love and beauty in places where you don't normally see it. For example, the picture i have included (by Martha Cooper) shows a kid on a run-down estate doing somersaults on a dirty old broken mattress. He seems to be having fun just there, amongst all the rubbish.

"A sound of gentle stillness stirred and said, "My child, be comforted, Dear is the offering of melody, But dearer far - love's lowliest ministry." - Amy Carmichael

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Don't be surprised then.

You pray for rain? Don't be surprised then when dark clouds start looming over head.

You pray for fire? Don't be surprised then when things around you are consumed and you wonder if you'll be consumed too. Don't forget what fire can really do.

You pray to see God's glory? Don't be surprised then when you can't stand in His presence or utter a word before Him.

You pray God would keep you humble? Don't be surprised then when you're more aware than ever of your nothingness and can only trust in Him.

You pray God would let you live through His strength alone? Don't be surprised then when you become so weak.

You pray for truth? Don't be surprised then when you see how much of you and the world is false.

You pray God would teach you about healing, discernment and compassion, so you can get alongside the sick? Don't be surprised then when you yourself become ill.

You pray..... Don't be surprised then that God actually hears.

Ignoring Beauty

I just read an interesting article on John Piper's website. It discussed how an amazing musician sat busking in the streets as an experiment to see if beauty could be recognized through the mundane malaise of day-to-day life. He was playing a $3.5 million instrument to a very high standard and he was virtually ignored. The article was demonstrating how easily people ignore beauty surrounding them and draws a comparison between this musician and God. Although it is not immoral to ignore the beauty created by this musician, the article was saying how it is immoral to ignore the beauty created by God. Anyway, it was an interesting article and made a valid point i think. I was going to quote it all on here, but decided it was too long.

Words # 2

Contray to the post i wrote a while back, this one is in favour of words. I'm not sure why i feel the need to discuss such an obvious subject, but for some reason i do.

Previously i pointed out all the problems with words... which i still think are valid problems... but i was also thinking today about the amazing benefits and beauty of having a language system comprised of words.

Without words i couldn't write this post. Without words there would be so much that couldn't be expressed. I was thinking how frustrating it must be for people with speech and language problems. How there can be so much beauty and depth and even pain trapped inside a body which can't let it out. When i was first ill i had a lot of problems with my speech... i physically couldn't speak for whole periods of time... or when i did it was just stuttered, jolted words. Even now, before i have a seizure, i have speech arrest. I have no way of even explaining to some-one that i can't speak because i'm about to have a seizure. This is quite frustrating and very strange. I remember in hospital i had to simply write things down for a while, because my seizures and drugs had disturbed my speaking ability so much. Anyway, i was considering how i found it very frustrating then and how it gave me a much deeper level of understanding and compassion for people who have speech or language problems. It made me see the value of speech and communication even more. Without words, we would all be trapped in this state of being unable to communicate certain things. Words have a great value. This is evident in people who have had strokes too, who lose certian language skills and are unable to remember certain words. It is a truely sad thing to see some-one go through that. There is no doubt about that.

Without words, life would be very, very, different. Without words i couldn't read the bible. Infact, the bible wouldn't even exist. That would be tragic. There is so much great truth that is communicated through these words. So much beauty and life in these words. I was thinking about this more because of the fact that my Dad is going to work at an organisation who print bibles and christian literature for the blind. I had never really bothered thinking about what it would be like to have no easy access to a bible, in a country which is full of bibles, just because you can't see. The work they do at this organisation is invaluable. I can't imagine what it would be like to be unable to read books or a bible whenever i wanted. Obviously, because of braille, it is possible for blind people to do that now... but still there is such small access to such literature... and in other countries there is none. A braille bible takes up a whole massive shelf, you can't even carry it round easily. I take my bible and books for granted. Without words and language i couldn't read all the books i read, i couldn't learn all the things i can learn. I couldn't read or hear the word of God.

I know words and language are limited, but the fact that we have the ability to have any language is amazing. The fact that we can use words even in a limited form is remarkable. I shouldn't have complained about words so much before. Today i feel like saying that i love words and language, despite the difficulties they do produce.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Maija Louekari

I came across this illustration by a Finnish designer called Maija Louekari. The design is mainly used as a fabric print. Anyway, I quite like it, so thought i'd post it here.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Being a Kid


Inspired my Nicola's recent post i feel the need to reminisce myself. I did actually write a little list a while back, when i couldn't sleep, about some of the joys of being a child. I mainly focused on the benefits of growing up as a Christian though and the things i could remember that influenced my faith... the list goes as follows:

* Learning great kid's songs, such as "Are you greedy, grumpy, noisy, nosey, messy, lazy... are you always causing trouble, driving grown-ups crazy.... Jesus changes Mr Men and Little Misses too... He can take away your sin and give new life to you.. wooooo!" ...... it has to be sung really fast for the full effect.

* It was always good to know that Jesus was with you when you went upstairs and it was all dark and scary... Hannah and me used to always reassure each other and say "Don't worry, Jesus is with you!"

* Being able to pray every night - i always prayed that there would be no burglars or kidnappers or fires, that no-one would get very ill, that the police wouldn't have to come and that there would be no big puppets that came to scare me......And after praying i could always sleep peacefully and it was always answered, ha ha!

* Whenever we didn't have any money we would always pray and God would provide it. Sometimes we had to pray just to get enough money for food or for bills and it would arrive at the last minute. Once we prayed for money when it was my Dad's birthday cos we had no money to buy him a present.... and then we found £10 in the garden bush and we could buy him a jumper. From then on i have never worried about money cos i learnt that God always provides... and he has been faithful to that.

*Hannah and me made used to make lovely Sunday School tapes for Matei, which was always such fun - we sung him songs (i can't sing) and read him stories!

*Children's bible stories with funny pictures in were always a pleasure to read....

*I loved my baptism when i was 7.... i remember it very clearly.... the swimming pool was full of flies and woodlice!.. The leader of my church, Richard, came round before and explained things to me and i cried and cried... He told me how his brother once had to take the blame for something naughty he had done at school and he had to stand on a bench and was laughed at by everyone... he said that was a little like Jesus taking the blame for us!!... Richard always gave people time, i appreciated that even as a child.

*A girl called Sian gave me a cool badge after i was baptised, which said "Jesus saves" on it. ha ha. Sounds cheesy now, but as a 7 year old i loved it.

* We once had to watch a crystal ball video at school,when i was 7, but i refused to and turned my back and read my bible instead... ha ha.... everyone thought i was mad.

* I got great stickers... with all sorts of bible verses and cheesy christian sayings on them... i still have them... i loved them as a kid.

* There was a sweet old lady, called Elsie, at Grace Church (which is now Jubilee) - she used to give all the children sweets every week. I loved her. Not just cos of the sweets, but simply because she treated the kids with respect and love and care.

*I remember how i once threw a waterbomb through the window of my house when 'The Lads' from church were visiting... i thought they'd be angry, but instead they went and bought a new window-pane and replaced it for us.... good example of mercy.

*We had a great tape called 'God of Grace' that we used to listen to in the car all the time... Matei and me used to sing along to it... they were good days.... i learnt good truth from that tape... and i now listen to it every day when i wash-up, ha ha... amazing how i haven't grown tired of it!!

*I remember i prayed once that God would do my home-work for me while i was at church... i was about 10... and i genuinely believed he would do it... i was well excited thinking about what his hand-writing would look like!!... and opened my note-book with great anticipation!... But He didn't answer that prayer!!...... it taught me something about prayer though and how God is in charge!... a good job really considering Hannah once prayed she would become Banana Man!!

*The biggest thing that influenced my faith was my parents humility and faith in God, the way they trusted Him in the most difficult times, the way they were completely unreligious... even the fact that we didn't always go to church but just went for walks sometimes, their testimonies, the way they were open with us about everything, and the way they looked after us...... fine examples of followers of Jesus.

I could go on and on and on, but this is already ridiculously long and of no interest to anyone bar myself...... it's amazing the tiny things you remember from being a child though and the power they have to affect your whole life....
N.B.... the picture i included is from when i was a wee child, you can tell where my enthusiasm for art came from, ha ha, what a good drawer i was... ahem!



Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Hip Hop Files

This is one of my favourite flyers. I have had it on my wall for about 3 years. I was struck a few days ago with the realisation that despite my love of it, i have never actually looked to see what it was advertising! How bizarre is that! I discovered that it was advertising a photography book called the 'Hip Hop Files' by Martha Cooper. I recently bought a different book by her, called 'Street Play', cos i really love her work. At this point i didn't know that this flyer was also by her. I quite like the fact that i have loved this flyer all these years without knowing the photo was by Martha Cooper! It goes to show that my taste must be consistent or something! I do find it strange that i never even looked on the back of the flyer though.... i reckon if it was a rubbish flyer i would have probably looked to see what on earth it was advertising, but in this case i was so captivated by the front, i didn't bother, ha ha! Goes to show how little power even good advertising has!

Your eyes

"Keep your eyes on the one who refuses to turn stones into bread, jump from great heights or rule with great temporal power. Keep your eyes on the one who says 'Blessed are the poor, the gentle, those who mourn and those who hunger and thirst for righteousness; blessed are the merciful, the peacemakers and those who are persecuted in the cause of uprightness'... Keep your eyes on the one who is poor with the poor, weak with the weak and rejected with the rejected. That one is the source of all peace." - Henri Nouwen

New territory for the Foxes

It seems it is time for the Foxes to relocate. My parents and I are planning on moving to Market Harborough, which is near Leicester. We have only just decided. My Dad has got a job working for a charity who print bibles and christian literature for the blind. For the time being i will be going with them. I am quite happy and feel at peace about that though - i think it's the right thing for me at the moment, although it will be quite a change; i will miss people in Worthing and i won't know anyone there. I have moved loads in the past, so it shouldn't be too big a deal, although i have lived in this Worthing house for 18 years now and do feel a little apprehensive. The history of where i've lived goes as follows:

*Worthing - Rented house
*Worthing - Council house
*Jerusalem, Israel - Flat
*Worthing - Temporarily stayed in a missionary house as we had no-where to live
*Worthing - Temporarily stayed with friends as we had no-where to live
*Worthing - Rented house
*Liverpool - Rented house
*Liverpool - Rented flat
*Liverpool - House 1
*Worthing - Current house

If i included my temporary accomodation as a student too, then there is also:

*Manchester - Shared house
*Worthing
*Sheffield - 3 shared flats/houses at uni
*Worthing

Well, there we go, what a fascinating post, i am even falling asleep myself...........................

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Handstands


These are by a guy called Rob Ryan. They are paper cuts, so the whole design is actually cut out of paper, not just drawn. He has done some other better and slightly less cheesy pieces, which i may include later, but this one was quite apt for how i feel today, what with it being Easter and all that.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Hope

"We rejoice in the hope of the glory of God... And hope does not disappoint us..." Romans 5.2-5

If i get married...

If i ever get married, i'd like to get married in a meadow of daisies or buttercups or poppies!

Friday, April 06, 2007

Just because it amuses me.....

My daily concoction of tablets .....

20 anticonvulsants and 10 various other tablets to help with the side-effects.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Out of the house....

I have seen so many flags this week that i haven't been able to stop thinking of the song i mentioned the other day. It's a good song, so i've liked having it in my head so much. I've been trying to work out whether there really are suddenly more flags around, or whether i am simply noticing them more! The later is probably the case! Although it is also quite likely that it's just because i have been out my house twice this week... which has greatly increased my chances of seeing flags, considering i often go whole weeks without even leaving my house!!

Infact it has been real nice to get out my house.... on Monday i went to Brighton with my dear sister and brother, for my birthday,... i realised that i hadn't been to Brighton since the beginning of last summer... and it felt like a bit of a culture shock.... strange hey! We had to keep the day very chilled out, but i liked it and loved spending time with my lovely siblings. I did, however, spend the whole time being fascinated by 'life' and felt quite overwhelmed actually. Having spent so much time in my house i have learnt to find tiny things fascinating ... for example the way the sun comes through the back-room window, or the fly wandering through raindrops on the glass of the window, or the ants scurrying around on the concrete in the back garden, or the daffodils that have just appeared, or watching the regular people at the bus-stop outside my window (ooo... they all seem to involve looking out of windows, ha ha!) or the bubbles as i'm washing-up and the tape i listen to every time i wash-up (which i have listened to since i was about 5) .... it all fascinates me for hours, simply because it is the scope of my scenery, so i decided to make it fascinate me. ANYWAY.... i discovered that out there in the real world there is a lot more to look at and absorb... things i had forgotten about and that could make my little world seem dull.... i felt like a child must do, when they discover things for the first time! I'm still happy with my little world though and make it my aim to continue to be fascinated by the tiny things in my house and garden... until i am able to broaden my landscape more....

I have been thinking too about the strange paradox's that exist in my life right now. For example;

* I am exceptionally weak, yet still feel a strange strength in me.
* It feels like the night and that all is dark and i can't see clearly at all. Yet at the exact same time i can feel the sun shining on my face and see it lighting up things all around me.
* I feel sad and heavy-hearted, but like my heart is alive and happy all at once.
* I feel frustrated, but then deeply peaceful at the exact same moment.
* I feel like giving up, but then full of hope both at the same time.
* And i am being so encouraged and cared for and blessed by other people, although i do absolutely nothing whatsoever to merit it.

A thousand years

"But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day."
- 2 Peter 3.8-

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

blowing bubbles

- photo by adriana yankulova -
Just remembered the joys of blowing bubbles as a child... infact i think i still have some and may go blow some right now ............... simple things can be such fun .........................

Sunday, April 01, 2007

A cowboy?

Interesting thought: I read in a book recently that when some cowboys once heard the story of Jesus entering Jerusalem on a donkey they announced "Jesus must have been a cowboy, just like us!". The reason for this wasn't just because he was riding a donkey, but because he rode a donkey that had NEVER been sat on before and he rode it into a city with people shouting and waving palm branches in it's face! Apparently it would be virtually impossible to stay on a donkey in such circumstances.... and therefore Jesus must have been a first-class cowboy! Either that or He was the son of God... who could do all things.