"When i am weak, then i am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12.10
Sunday, August 02, 2009
When brokeness becomes a vessel..
One of things i learnt through my epilepsy was that disabilities, weaknesses and brokeness often create vessels for God's love and grace to be seen, in ways that we would never otherwise see it. What i mean is, although it was pretty humiliating and unpleasant to end up on the floor, violently convulsing and vocalising, it was also a place where i learnt a lot about receiving mercy and help from others. It provided a vessel for love and tenderness to flow - quite simply, when someone is lacking in something it can create a place for someone else to help them and meet their need. It can be an essential component in relationships and teaches us a lot about our need for others and how we can't exist just for ourselves. Although no-one could ever take my seizures away, people could and did love me in the midst of them, and that was something that consistently amazed me. When i was most vulnerable, just an embarrassment, and unable to do or offer anything back, people would still care for me. I could never really grasp that, but it did speak to me massively about God's heart and His compassion and mercy. Admittedly i did experience negative reactions as well - people who automatically presumed i was demon-possessed, or crazy, for example - but even this taught me about how important it is not to absorb the opinions of everyone around me, but to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and what He alone says.