Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Out of the house....

I have seen so many flags this week that i haven't been able to stop thinking of the song i mentioned the other day. It's a good song, so i've liked having it in my head so much. I've been trying to work out whether there really are suddenly more flags around, or whether i am simply noticing them more! The later is probably the case! Although it is also quite likely that it's just because i have been out my house twice this week... which has greatly increased my chances of seeing flags, considering i often go whole weeks without even leaving my house!!

Infact it has been real nice to get out my house.... on Monday i went to Brighton with my dear sister and brother, for my birthday,... i realised that i hadn't been to Brighton since the beginning of last summer... and it felt like a bit of a culture shock.... strange hey! We had to keep the day very chilled out, but i liked it and loved spending time with my lovely siblings. I did, however, spend the whole time being fascinated by 'life' and felt quite overwhelmed actually. Having spent so much time in my house i have learnt to find tiny things fascinating ... for example the way the sun comes through the back-room window, or the fly wandering through raindrops on the glass of the window, or the ants scurrying around on the concrete in the back garden, or the daffodils that have just appeared, or watching the regular people at the bus-stop outside my window (ooo... they all seem to involve looking out of windows, ha ha!) or the bubbles as i'm washing-up and the tape i listen to every time i wash-up (which i have listened to since i was about 5) .... it all fascinates me for hours, simply because it is the scope of my scenery, so i decided to make it fascinate me. ANYWAY.... i discovered that out there in the real world there is a lot more to look at and absorb... things i had forgotten about and that could make my little world seem dull.... i felt like a child must do, when they discover things for the first time! I'm still happy with my little world though and make it my aim to continue to be fascinated by the tiny things in my house and garden... until i am able to broaden my landscape more....

I have been thinking too about the strange paradox's that exist in my life right now. For example;

* I am exceptionally weak, yet still feel a strange strength in me.
* It feels like the night and that all is dark and i can't see clearly at all. Yet at the exact same time i can feel the sun shining on my face and see it lighting up things all around me.
* I feel sad and heavy-hearted, but like my heart is alive and happy all at once.
* I feel frustrated, but then deeply peaceful at the exact same moment.
* I feel like giving up, but then full of hope both at the same time.
* And i am being so encouraged and cared for and blessed by other people, although i do absolutely nothing whatsoever to merit it.

1 comment:

Liz said...

I hope you don't mind that I am reading your blog! I really should stop as I need to get to bed. Just to say Happy Birthday, sorry I missed it. And I also loved the "flag flown high" song as a child. It was a classic. And, there is nothing wrong on keeping flyers mainly for the aesthetic beauty of them. I once did a project on the Absolut vodka Ads and consequently I have stacks of the ads, not sure what I will ever do them, but they certainly speak to me...just not sure what about!

Keep up the good blogging and I will enjoy reading it. Am thinking of and praying for you.

Liz Zelie