Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Tomorrow i am going away for a few days and am far too scared about it at the moment. I'm seeking God about my future and visiting an area which i am very vaguely considering moving to... like i said, it's only a very very vague idea, but i figured i may as well push the door. The problem is i am kinda out of practise at things like this. I have lived a lifestyle akin to that of a hermit for the last few years and i've forgotten how to do even simple things like socialise with people. I'll be staying with complete strangers and doing all sorts of things this weekend, which to be honest, i feel pretty incapable of doing. Anyway, the only basis of hope i have that it will be ok is that i know God will be going with me. I feel stupid in a way, cos i know other people who are doing far more scary things than me... it's illogical for me to be so afraid about something which, in essence, is so normal..... i guess i have just been ill for so long that being normal is strangely scary. Yet if i don't start doing things like this again i'll get trapped in a life of fear, which is the last thing i want!