Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Fear

Tomorrow i am going away for a few days and am far too scared about it at the moment. I'm seeking God about my future and visiting an area which i am very vaguely considering moving to... like i said, it's only a very very vague idea, but i figured i may as well push the door. The problem is i am kinda out of practise at things like this. I have lived a lifestyle akin to that of a hermit for the last few years and i've forgotten how to do even simple things like socialise with people. I'll be staying with complete strangers and doing all sorts of things this weekend, which to be honest, i feel pretty incapable of doing. Anyway, the only basis of hope i have that it will be ok  is that i know God will be going with me. I feel stupid in a way, cos i know other people who are doing far more scary things than me... it's illogical for me to be so afraid about something which, in essence, is so normal..... i guess i have just been ill for so long that being normal is strangely scary. Yet if i don't start doing things like this again i'll get trapped in a life of fear, which is the last thing i want!

3 comments:

Anette Acker said...

Praying for you, Becky! I know you'll come through this well.

Becky said...

Thank you Anette. I've actually just postponed my visit for a few weeks... didn't feel quite ready for it yet... but hopefully i'll be ok to go soon! Thanks for your prayers though.

Anette Acker said...

Becky, I understand why you'd be nervous, especially if you don't know the people. But I also think God is speaking to you through your blog post called "Enough."

I was thinking about Paul's thorn in the flesh yesterday. I think all true believers have something God won't take away, because otherwise we wouldn't have to rely on him, moment by moment. We'd be sufficient in ourselves. And if God removes that particular "thorn," there will always be another. I guess that's why, even though we see God's glory and goodness in this life, our hope is beyond this life.

And I don't say that because I don't think God will take away your fear. I just think that's your particular thorn right now, and God's power will be sufficient for you, to give you all the peace and confidence you need for your visit.