I guess the only real thing i have to offer is honesty though.... although i know that i sometimes find even that hard. I used to think that being honest meant telling things exactly as they were... but recently i've been reading some things by Dietrich Bonhoeffer where he says that it is so much more than the words we use. He said how it's vital to take into consideration the whole relationship we have with people when we decide on the words we use... you have to consider the time, place and context of a situation. He said it's possible to speak truthful words, which deny the truth of a relationship. For example a child could say something to their parents which might be completely true, but inappropriate because a child should respect their parents... and therefore despite the fact that the words are honest, the whole exchange isn't honest, because it denies the loving relationship that they are called to. I remember i once got so concerned about telling the truth that i couldn't even be sarcastic for a while... or tell jokes, or exaggerate in an obvious way to make a point, cos i was worried they might be classed as lies. Anyway, i am getting distracted from my point now.... i guess i was just trying to say that i want to be honest, but it's sometimes hard working out what that is!
At the end of the day the only perspective from which i can write is the perspective from which i live.. anything else will just be based on assumptions.... and people can tell when you write without really having any experience of something.... the words lack life somehow and are kinda colder.... at least that's what i find. But does that make it right or useful to write about my own life so much? I don't know... maybe it's not good to be so self-absorbed? But then again our own lives are the story in which our faith is worked out, and therefore a vital instrument through which we can express faith and share it.... the place from which we can testify to the way God moves and speaks and shines through everyday tasks.... and the place where we see the truth of His word lived out. So, please forgive me if i talk about my life too much or too little.... if i'm too cryptic or too open.... if i'm too honest, or too fake..... i can only offer the reality of what i am, and that will be littered with mistakes..... but i trust God with the rest and pray that somehow, in the midst of all this, He can still be glorified.