Thursday, July 30, 2009
An observation: It is strange how something so good, can actually be kinda hard to adjust to. It's four months since i've had a seizure, which is incredible and i am truly so happy about it. However, all i've known for the last 4/5 years is a hermit-type existance (particularly the last 2 years) in which i've been having frequent fits and generally been pretty tired (i don't mean that in a negative way - i have been blessed with much goodness these last years too), but to try and adjust back to a normal life is actually quite strange. It's actually quite a shock and in many ways i don't really know how to do it. I don't know how to live like a normal person. I haven't a clue how to even start to think about normal things, like getting a job or what to do next. I am excited and i am eager to start doing more again. I want to be able to work or do some training or something. I'm looking forward to being able to socialise more again and i am exceptionally grateful for this grace God has shown me. But when you haven't done something for so long, it can be kinda daunting and so if i'm completely honest i feel kinda lost. Don't get me wrong, i really and truly am so pleased to be seizure-free and i praise God for that. And i do trust that God has got the next stages planned out for me. I know too that he's not going to heal me and then just leave me aimlessly wandering, so I'm quite sure that he knows what's next - but i think i just need to learn to relax and trust Him and listen to what He's saying more.