As i drank from the sky...

The sky last night was incredible. I watched it as we drove north and let it wash over me and still my thoughts.... it was so vast that i felt like i could suddenly breathe again, like i was drinking air that unlocked my muscles and caused my lungs to move freely, unrestrained by any other force. I hadn't been aware that my lungs had felt encaged, until this point. In the same way that a city-dweller doesn't know how polluted the air they inhale is, until they stand by an ocean and absorb the fresh sea breeze. Or in the same way that you forget how much noise daily filters through your ears and fights for your attention, until you're presented with silence. Sometimes we don't even know how much we miss something, until we find it again. Even if what we miss is simply the absence of something: the absence of unwanted sound, the absence of pressure, the absence of ropes that bind.

But as i drank the sky, i experienced more than just the absence of restraints, it was like i was satisfied and deeply content. Like the expanse merged my senses into one - tasting of beauty and lightness that filled my heart with song. My insides had been given something, and not just momentarily freed from something. As i was wrapped in the sky which had no ends, i knew my smallness, i knew my nothingness, that i'm just a drop in the ocean.... yet it felt good to be so small, to be just a tiny part of something much bigger... it felt good to just be in awe of the One who is so big and is so vast. Like i existed just to drink from and glorify His vastness and His beauty and His greatness. I was looking at the sky, but in that sky i found again the One who formed it, and i realised again that our deepest joy comes as we simply admire Him.

Strangely, when i arrived home, i had severe chest pains all evening. I couldn't breathe well anymore, and felt sick, yet i still felt revived from the drive we'd taken through the expanse of beauty that was the sky, and i'm thankful for this.