When i awake...

Photo by Mary Robinson

Sometimes all you can do is lay yourself down, under a night sky, face to the ground... lost, undone.... then lie there and wait 'til night's overthrown by the day, morning sun transcends darkness and you finally awake.... found, remade... satisfied as you look into His face, seeing eyes that make your heaviness break, hands that bled into scars just for love's sake; and you'll know you've been transformed by nothing but mercy's embrace.

"As for me, i shall behold Your face in righteousness; when i awake, i shall be satisfied with Your likeness." - Psalm 17.15

Broken Wings..

Hammock - Breathturn from David Altobelli on Vimeo.

I pretty much love everything about this little video.... even if the kid did borrow my books-into-birds idea... but i forgive him seeing as it makes such a beautiful video. Maybe it's just because it includes several of my favourite things... derelict buildings, old books, paper birds, real birds, kids, hope for the broken... i could go on...

When it's not as simple as right or wrong...

Sometimes i get things wrong. Infact, i often do. When it comes to whether God has healed me or not, i don't really know how to answer. But ultimately i do know this: God doesn't get things wrong. And God doesn't lie. So if He says in His word that "by His wounds we are healed" then that's true. And He who promised is faithful. Even if it sometimes takes a lifetime to fully see these things. He promises healing and He promises to make all things new.

Jesus hung on a cross, was whipped and beaten and endured agony to make this possible. His scars declare what is true. And His scars cry out YOU ARE HEALED. YOU CAN BE FREE. No word from the lips of man, no word from my own mind can go against this. For the truth has more power than lies. And God promises that the truth will make us free. Even our sin can't silence this cry, for His wounds have dealt with sin too. So i believe that for HIS SAKE alone, and for HIS GLORY, He WILL bring to completion that which He has begun in me, and that which He has begun in you....

Shadow Art

I discovered the work of Japanese artist Kumi Yamashita yesterday. I love how original and creative the pieces she does are. Infact, i actually think they are incredible. The above photos show some shadow installations she did, the shadows are created entirely by the objects in the photo. For example the letters and number blocks in the 3rd picture cast a shadow of a man's face when lit with light from the left, and the children in the first pictures are formed by the shadow of a thin piece of wood lit from underneath. Very clever. She also does other amazing pieces such as making detailed portraits simply out of words or footprints.

I am with you...

"I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For i will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you." - Genesis 28.15

You can get to a place where you're free to be able to dance..

BIRTHRIGHT from Sean Mullens on Vimeo.

I came across this video today. It's inspiring and bares witness to the fact that if you're prepared to fight and not give up, all things are possible through the God who gives us strength and grace to do them. I like what the man in the film says towards the end:

"You can transcend. You can get to a place where you're free to be able to dance...."

Who'll fight for him?

I saw this man yesterday, slumped to the ground, like all his life had seeped from his bones. He had no strength to even beg. No strength to cry for help. His face had lines of age and pain; it whispered cries of heavy years. My first thought - after tears ran from my eyes - was who will fight for him? Who will fight on his behalf when all his strength is clearly spent? Is there someone who'll fight for him? Who won't give up until there's hope? My simple prayer was 'Lord, please fight; for he who cannot ask for help, for he who can but groan to you. He can't even reach to touch your hem. He has no friends to carry him. But please, don't let such weakness stop this man from finding you, don't let these weary eyes be left to close without ever gazing on Your face. Don't leave him there because he sits all by himself with no-one there to fight his case. Please Lord, fight for him.'

And was he once a mother's son? And did she once hold his small hand? And is he now the same as then? Like that weak child who needs his mother's love, that small boy seeking his Father's touch? Is he now helpless as a child, who cannot even feed himself? And if he is, what hope is there? Now he is cast upon the ground, without a soul to strengthen him? Who is there now who'll fight for him? Who'll intercede and plead his case? My Lord, please fight for him and show us how to be Your hands, Your feet. So men like him won't be alone. So men like him might see Your face, through our scarred lives, through our embrace.

"Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy." - Psalm 82.3-4

'tis equal joy to go or stay...

"I can be calm and free from care

On any shore, since God is there.

While place we seek, or place we shun,

The soul finds happiness in none;

But with a God to guide our way,

'Tis equal joy to go or stay."

I read the above quote in Spurgeon's daily reading today.. and though it goes against my natural inclination and everything that i 'feel', for some reason i can whole-heartedly agree with this passage today... and truthfully say that i believe with God, it would be equal joy to go or stay...or at least that i believe it MUST be true, even though i don't 'feel' it to be so...

A simple plea

I'm grateful that there are some real simple pleas in the Bible:

"I am troubled; O Lord, come to my aid!" - Isaiah 38.14

...then verse 20 of that passage says:

"The Lord will save me.. and we will sing.. all the days of our life in the temple of the Lord."

A smoking flax

"Grace.. is mingled with corruption; therefore a Christian is said to be a smoking flax. So we see that grace does not do away with corruption all at once, but some is left for the believers to fight with. The purest actions of the purest men need Christ to perfume them; and this is His office....... Christ will not quench the smoking flax... He preserves light in the midst of darkness, a spark in the midst of the swelling waters of corruption. We see how our Saviour bore with Thomas the doubting (John 20:27), and with the two disciples that went to Emmaus, who wavered as to whether He came to redeem Israel or not (Luke 24:21). He quenched not that little light in Peter, which was smothered: Peter denied Him, but He denied not Peter (Luke 22.61). 'If thou wilt, thou canst,' said one poor man in the Gospel (Matt 8.2). 'If thou canst do anything,' said another (mark 9.22). Both were smoking flax. Neither of them was quenched. If Christ had stood upon His own greatness, He would have rejected him that came with his 'if'. But Christ answers his 'if' with a gracious and absolute grant, 'I will, be thou clean.' The women that was diseased with an issue did but touch, with a trembling hand, and but the hem of His garment, and yet she went away both healed and comforted." - Richard Sibbes

Waiting...

I was thinking this morning about how easy it is at times to opt for a quick fix, or what we perceive to be some kind of immediate relief, rather than taking God at His word and waiting for HIM. All worldly alternatives can never actually satisfy, or heal, or help, or restore someone... but when you call on God and don't see an immediate answer, sometimes it feels easier to seek some immediate solution, even when you know it won't truly help in the long-run. But Scripture is full of promises about how God is good to those who wait for Him, so i just looked up a few, to remind myself personally that it is far better to wait for Him, than anything else... and i'm sure i read once that waiting, in a Biblical sense is more than just sitting back in a passive way, but it's an active waiting that seeks after God until it sees the fulfilment of His word...

"The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him." - Lamentations 3.25

"Blessed are all those who wait for him." - Isaiah 30.18

"They who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength... they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." - Isaiah 40.31

"But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me." - Micah 7.7

"Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains." - James 5.7

"Those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land." - Psalm 37.9

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word i hope."

 - Psalm 130.5

"Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. This is the Lord; we have waited for him; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation" - Isaiah 25.9

"For God ALONE, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him." - Psalm 62.5

Poured out...

If you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday. And the LORD will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. - Isaiah 58

The Bruised Reed

"After conversion we need bruising so that reeds may know themselves to be reeds, and not oaks. Even reeds need bruising, by reason of the remainder of pride in our nature, and to let us see that we live by mercy and mercy alone. Such bruising may help weaker Christians not to be too much discouraged when they see stronger ones shaken and bruised. Thus Peter was bruised when he wept bitterly. This reed, til he met with this bruise, had more wind in him than pith, when he said 'though all forsake Thee, i will not". The people of God cannot be without these examples. The heroic deeds of those great worthy's do not comfort the Church so much as their falls and bruises do." - from "The Bruised Reed" by Richard Sibbes (via Matt Chandler)

Eight Years...

Above photo via mitford

I once sent a card that arrived too late. 8 years ago today.

I still miss her.

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." - Rev 21.4

Lie down and rest...

" Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind. " - Eccl 4.6

" I will lie down and sleep in peace, for You alone oh Lord, make me dwell in safety." - Psalm 4.8

"The Lord is my Shepherd; i shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul." - Psalm 23

" But i have calmed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with it's mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me." - Psalm 131.2

"His left arm is under my head and his right arm embraces me." - Song of Songs 2.6

" Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him, for He shields them all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders." - Deut 3.12

Nevenka Carballo

Photos by Nevenka Carballo. I really like her style. 

..quiet as the storm you still...

And so it seems that when you wish to close your eyes and slip away, you can’t make sleep come. You can’t force your mind to drift into another land, or make your thoughts fade away. Sleep comes, sleep goes. Who owns the wand? Who casts the spell? Who commands your body to just let go? I need to sleep, but don't know the spell. I need to sleep, but don’t know the words to make my thoughts dissolve. I need to sleep, but have no power to make this so. Please, oh giver of sleep, would you grant me rest as i lay down my heavy head; let me fall into Your gentle arms and quiet as the storm You still let me find myself asleep in You. 

Why i love watching life...

Today i remembered again why i love people and why i love life. Train journey's are great places to simply observe the world around you. I was grateful for the following things today:

* The old man who read a Gilbert and Sullivan musical score for the entire journey (a couple of hours). It was entitled "The lass that loved a Sailor" and the level of enthusiasm on his face was immense...

* The old lady who gave me the biggest, sweetest smile ever. 

* The girls that gave me and my brother free travel cards across London, saving us a good few pounds...

* The couple who had strangely wrapped their suitcases in clingfilm... this just made me smile.

* My little brother who entertained me on my first journey and then escorted me across London, carried my bag and brought me an icecream...

* The fact that we went past loads of fields that were flooded with pools of water... it reminded me of the verse in the Bible that says "for I give water in the wilderness" (Isaiah 43). Infact, i saw these same pools of water on my journey on Thursday too, at the exact same time that i was reading this chapter.

* The way the light danced through the train windows and made pretty patterns everywhere.

* The amazing views of derelict buildings and graffiti that you always get on train journeys. I know it's strange, but i truly love them.

* And the fact that i was simply able to come back down South, even if i just take things a week at a time...

Just like breathing

"Some decisions you don't make. I guess it's just like breathing or not wanting to - there are some things you can't fake." - Lyrics by Bright Eyes