Not what i will?

"Faith laughs at impossibilities and cries it shall be done." - Hudson Taylor

"Nevertheless not what I will, but what you will." - Jesus, Mark 14.36

I have these two quotes on my bedroom mirror... the first is on paper and has been stuck up in my room for about 4 years. The second is scrawled across the glass in eyeliner and was added more recently. It is true that nothing is impossible with God and we can have faith that declares something will be done against the odds....... but Jesus also shows us the need to have a submissive heart that wants God's will above our own. There are some things that are out of our control. All we can do is submit to God's will and accept it.

Today i was thinking about that verse in a different way... i was thinking about how much i apply it to my every day life, at every moment... i feel like i say 'not what i will, but what you will'... but how much do i live by it? How finely tuned are my ears to hear God's will at each moment? Today i slept loads. I was tired, so half justified it in my head. But there were so many other things i could have been doing to help or bless others instead. Did i do His will today? or just my own? Mainly the later i think. And i'm afraid that's the case all too often. 

The pink balloon

I love this polaroid by Fernanda Montoro. The other pictures on her site are good too. I'm still liking polaroids too much, considering they are on the way out.

Needed Time

A number of years ago i went to a hip hop night with some friends in Sheffield. I will always remember it because it disturbed me so much. Saian Super Crew were playing and before one of their songs they declared that 'we are an army of people without a God' and then they got everyone to chant 'soldier' in response. Now i knew my friends' beliefs and that they were pretty anti-God, but i didn't expect to see such deep passion in them as they chanted 'soldier' and threw their arms in the air and leaped up and down in agreement with what was said. In fact, the whole room went crazy and were cheering and chanting that they were in an army without a God. Honestly, i thought i might be sick. It seems strange in a way, because i know a lot of people believe that anyway, i knew my friends did..... but to see how fervently they wanted to make it known, to see how they actually laughed at the thought of it, to hear the chant of 'soldier.. soldier... soldier...' physically hurt and haunted me for a long time after. It made me desperate to reach these people with the truth.

A few weeks ago i went to see Eric Bibb play in Coventry. He's a Blues singer and the venue was completely full. One of the songs he played is called 'Needed Time' and goes as follows:

"Right now is the needed time, now is the needed time, now is the needed time.. x2

I'm down on my bended knees, i'm on my knees, praying won't you come by, come by here x2

Singing right now is the needed time, oh right now is the needed time, now is the needed time..

Even if you don't stay long, oh my Jesus, if you don't stay long, I'm praying come by here, oh Jesus if you don't stay long, i'm praying won't you come by, come by here...

Singing right now is the needed time, i know you feel it's a needed time, right now is the needed time....."

 

This was the most spiritual song of all and it was the only one in which he asked people to join in part way through... and what surprised me was that everyone did, powerfully.... it wasn't a Christian event at all, but everyone was basically confessing their need for Jesus..... it was moving and i truely felt the presence of God there. Now i don't know how much the people meant it? or whether they were just singing along?.. but either way it was like the opposite of the hip hop night and gave me back some hope for people turning to God. Just moments before everyone joined in i had thought how amazing it would be if everyone in the room cried out to God like that... and then it happened... it actually happened....

But it also made me wonder how easily people are influenced by others.... in both cases did the people really mean what they were saying?... did the first crowd all really believe they had no God? and did the second crowd all really think it was a needed time and want Jesus to come to them? I don't know? I just don't know....

Kiss each other

"Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other." Psalm 85:9-10