If you can, you may.

I've been re-reading "Hinds' Feet on High Places" by Hannah Hurnard. It's a good book, with a thousand relevant things in it. The following is an extract from a conversation between Much-Afraid and the Shepherd:

"'You know that i DO love You, Shepherd, as much as my cold little heart is capable. You know that i love You and that i long to trust You as much as i love You, that i long both to love and trust You still more.'

'Would you be willing to trust Me,' He asked, 'even if everything in the wide world seemed to say that I was deceiving you - indeed, that I had deceived you all along?'

She looked at Him in perplexed amazement. 'Why, yes,' she said, 'I'm sure i would, because one thing I KNOW to be true, it is impossible that You should tell a lie. It is impossible that You should deceive me. I know that I am often very frightened at the things which You ask me to do,' she added shamefacedly and apologetically, 'but i could never doubt You in that way. It's myself i am afraid of, never of You, and though everyone in the world should tell me that You had deceived me, I should know it was impossible. O Shepherd,' she implored, 'don't tell me that You think i really doubt You, even when i am most afraid and cowardly and despicably weak. You know - you KNOW i trust You......

He said nothing for a little, only looked down very tenderly, almost pitifully at the figure now crouching at His feet. Then, after a time, He said very quietly, 'Much-Afraid, supposing i really did deceive you? What then?'

It was her turn to be quite silent, trying to grasp this impossible thing He was suggesting and to think what her answer would be. What then? Would it be that she could never trust, never love Him again? Would she have to be alive in a world where there was no Shepherd, only a mirage and a broken lovely dream? To know that she had been deceived by One she was certain could not deceive? To lose Him?

Suddenly she burst into a passion of weeping, then after a little while looked straight up into His face and said, 'My Lord - if you can deceive me, You may. It can make no difference. I MUST love You as long as i continue to exist. I cannot live without loving You.'"

I remember that when i first read this passage, about 7 years ago, i couldn't quite grasp how Much-Afraid could agree that the Shepherd could deceive her if He wished - in all my logic i concluded that it would make the Shepherd someone He wasn't, for i agreed that it is impossible for Him to lie, so was unsure whether i would be able to permit Him to deceive me....... BUT now i understand. And now i agree. Though everything in me believes that He can't lie - and if something turns out different to how i expect then i think it will most likely be that I heard wrong, rather than that He lied - But still i can agree with what she says now - if it is possible for Him to deceive me, He may, i still trust He knows best and there is still nothing else on earth which compares to loving Him.