Because of His blood

"Look upon mine afflictions and my pain; and forgive all my sins." - Psalm 25.18

"David cries.. 'Lord, as for my afflictions and my pain, i will not dictate to Thy wisdom. Lord, look at them, I will leave them to Thee, I should be glad to have my pain removed, but do as Thou wilt; but as for my sins, Lord, I know what i want with them; I must have them forgiven; I cannot endure to lie under their curse for a moment.' - Spurgeon

"We must confess that we are 'nothing else but sin'.... but sin mourned and confessed, however black and foul, shall never shut a man out from the Lord Jesus. Whosoever cometh unto Him, He will in no wise cast out. Though dishonest as the thief, though unchaste as the woman who was a sinner.. though rebellious as the prodigal, the great heart of love will look upon the man who feels himself to have no soundness in him, and will pronounce him clean, when he trusts in Jesus crucified. Come to Him, then, poor heavy-laden sinner, come needy, come guilty, come loathsome and bare; you can't come too filthy - come just as you are." - Spurgeon

Content with Thee

"Thou hast not that, my child, but thou hast me. And am not I alone enough for thee? I know it all, know how thy heart was set upon this joy which is not given yet.... I know it all; but from thy brier shall blow a rose for others. If it were not so i would have told thee. Come then, say to Me, my Lord, my Love, i am content with Thee." - Amy Carmichael

Just a little kid

"In a scene from the movie Ironweed, the characters played by Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep stumble across an old Eskimo woman lying in the snow, probably drunk. Besotted themselves, the two debate what they should do about her:

"Is she drunk, or a bum?" Asks Nicholson.

"Just a bum. Been one all her life."

"And before that?"

"She was a whore in Alaska."

"She hasn't been a whore all her life. Before that?"

"I dunno. Just a little kid, i guess."

"Well a little kid's something. It's not a bum and it's not a whore. It's something. Let's take her in."

The two vagrants were seeing the Eskimo woman through the lens of grace. Where society saw only a bum and a whore, grace saw a "little kid," a person made in the image of God no matter how defaced that image had become."

-Philip Yancey-

Light breaks in

Pretty much love these photos by lemonblond

We need no explanation

"As for God, His way is perfect." - Psalm 18

"And if His way be perfect, we need no explanation."

- Amy Carmichael

I will whirl patient, though my brain should reel.

"But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter.." - Isaiah 64.8

"But Thou art making me, I thank Thee, sire.

What Thou hast done and doest Thou knows't well.

And i will help Thee; gently in Thy fire

I will lie burning; on Thy potter's wheel

I will whirl patient, though my brain should reel.

Thy grace shall be enough the grief to quell,

And growing strength perfect through weakness dire."

- George MacDonald -

Immanuel - God with us.

"They shall call His name Immanuel - which means God with us." - Matt 1.23

"He was never known to desert other people if they had trouble. When women were in tears, he stayed by their side. When old folks were lonely, he sat with them quietly. It was nothing miraculous, but the sunken eyes overflowed with love more profound than a miracle... " - Shusaku Endo

Today it's exactly a year since i finished my epilepsy medication. I am still not seizure-free, but i trust God understands what's going on. This last fortnight i have spent two periods in hospital, having numerous seizures. I don't really know what to say about it, except i realised again how amazingly grateful i am for the friends and family i have and for the fact that God never leaves us. Last night i was looking through my old diaries and found something i wrote this week, exactly three years ago. It echos what often still goes through my mind - especially on weeks like these. I feel pretty vulnerable and exposed posting it - infact, it may be the most open i have ever been on here, but i will post it anyway, as it helps express the point i want to make:

"Tell me why? Why should they help? I am embarrassment to all who come near. I who scream and kick and shout. Unsightly, unruly, unlovely, unseemly. I who break the rules of social conduct. Why should they help? I don't know why. Why spend time with one like this? I have nothing anymore to give. I who's brain is like a sieve. I just salvage words from this oil slick. Incoherent, inappropriate, intense. Why spend time with such a thing? I don't know why. Some do look and judge by sight: "She's crazy, weird and demonized." "She belongs to the occult." "What are her family's sins?" "She's just sensing spiritual things." "Send her to a psychologist." So they say. And the say it to my face. At least they look me in the eyes. I don't blame them for what they say. For sometimes i wonder the same. Other's just pretend: "We don't know her." "She's no longer our friend." Just walk on by like they'd never seen. I don't blame them. If i saw me, i fear i might do the same. I am embarrassment. I'd bring them shame. Why should they help? I don't know why. But some still they do. Like angels in disguise, they help and care. They hold my head, protect my frame ,watch over me, spend time with me, talk to me, laugh with me, love me. Why should they care? I don't know why. But still they do. It's a mystery i just can't comprehend - I do not understand. Not only am i nothing, with nothing to give back. I am, in fact, worse than that. I am embarrassment. I am shame. Why should they help? I don't know why. I don't take it for granted. I don't presume it should be so. When help and care and love is shown, it is to me the face of grace. The face of mercy. The face of kindness. The face of love. It is in those who sacrifice their time and pride for me, that i see the face of Him. The face of Jesus, the humble King."

I guess the truth is that even when we can't clearly discern God with us, He is still true to His name... and it says His name is Immanuel, which means God with us. Even when i was having seizures, even when i was simply lying there crying in-between, even when i didn't understand what on earth was going on... even then, it must have been true that God was with me.. and still is.... It never ceases to amaze me, and i am so grateful that He isn't with us because of what we are, or what we have to give, but He is with us simply because He is. But i guess i realised too, that sometimes the way He is with us is through the people He puts around us. I had friends who just sat with me for hours in hospital, even when i know they were tired out themselves... friends and family who have sat with me and prayed for me, for years on end now. And i can't express how grateful i am for them and how much i love them. But through them sitting with me, i realised too that in many ways, Jesus was sitting with me. I know it's also true that if no-one had been there, as is sometimes the case in life, then God still would have been... but still i felt this week like i was more aware of His presence through other people, than when i was left alone.

I also just came across a quote by Shusako Endo, which i've included at the top of this post. In his writing he emphasizes a lot how Jesus came to those who were most outcast and most rejected.. how he never avoided "dis-grace" but was "a man of sorrows, familiar with suffering..." the Jesus who is not ashamed to walk amongst the people who society may be ashamed of. I've been thinking about the phrase Endo uses which says "love more profound than a miracle".... miracles are incredible and show us so much of God's power.... but i realised that there are times when actually we may see just as much, if not more, of God through the persistant and faithful love He shows us over years, than from an instant miracle...... don't get me wrong, i'm all for instant restoration when it's real and God chooses to work that way... in fact, i'm desperate for it.... i'd MUCH rather be instantly healed than have it drag on for years... not just for my sake, but for the sake of others... it grieves me to know how much i put them through, and i long not to be such a burden and disruption..... Also, i don't think there is anything wrong with a desire to see people healed instantly in healing meetings and so on.... but sometimes i wonder whether people prefer that simply because it's easier than investing hours and weeks and years of time and love and prayer into someone's life... But in the weirdest kind of way, maybe God sometimes allows things to last months or years in order to show us something of what love really is... the love that doesn't give up, but persists... the love that sacrifices pride and waits patiently with a person until God has completed His work in them.... the love that shows what it really means for God to be with us through everything.... and for us to let Him be with others through letting Him live in us.... to be with us in health, and in sickness, in good and in bad, in the night or in the day..... I know that my family and friends have shown me a lot of God through the gracious and merciful ways they have cared for me and haven't given up on me over the years.. even when i really don't deserve it... and God Himself has remained faithful and true to His name. I praise Him for that. I praise Him for the reality that He is with us. I praise Him because He took on human flesh and walked amongst us, suffering like us, being rejected and mocked and beaten and killed... in order to truly be 'God with us.' And I praise Him because He rose again and gave His Spirit to us, so that even though He no longer walks on earth in the flesh He once did, He walks on earth and remains with us through His Spirit which lives in each of His children.

The name of the Lord

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God." - Psalm 20.7

"Those who know your name, put their trust in You." - Psalm 9.10

I don't understand much right now and i don't really know who's opinions to trust. Infact, i don't even really know how to discern what's true and what's not. But i do know that God can be trusted and that the Bible is true.... and it's better to trust in Him than in anyone else. I was thinking today about how Psalm 9 suggests that the key to trusting in Him, is to really know His name. I guess there are always times in life when you have to put your hope and trust in the knowledge you have of something, rather than what you see.... I guess that's why it says we "walk by faith not sight"... and i guess that's why it's crucial to have a good knowledge of God, so that you can trust in Him, even when you can't clearly see Him.

A bit like when it's night-time and you can't actually see the sun... or anything else for that matter, because it's the sun that enables you to see everything else.... so you have to rely on what you know to be true about the sun... like the fact that it will rise again in the morning, because it's risen every morning of your life so far. I guess knowledge is a combination of things you've experienced first hand, and things you've learnt. I've never actually observed the whole process by which the earth circles the sun every day, but i've experienced part of that reality and been taught about the rest of it.... so i can trust that it will happen each day.

Anyway, i guess what i'm getting at, is i realised today that i need to remind myself of the truth contained in God's name.... to remember what i've seen to be true of His name so far in my life... and to hold on to what the Bible says is true of His name. So, i might do some posts over the next few days based on the names of God.....

"The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe." - Proverbs 18:10

The aftermath of watered ground...

...Sometimes mercy rides with stormy rainfalls; the biggest pools collect in the deepest holes... thunder roars, lightening strikes; a darkened violent night... trees are stripped of hollow limbs; deadened leaves drop in the wind... yet rivers rise and burst their banks; creviced land drinks from this cup... this wildly ordered turbulent mess; a fearsome foe, a gracious guest?...i don't know which.... but put my hope in what is found when storms have passed and all is calm; the aftermath of watered ground...

Is there rock beneath quicksand?

Is there rock underneath quicksand? Or does the sand go on forever? It says in the Bible, that "underneath are the everlasting arms" (Deut 33.27).... Does that include underneath quicksand? I guess it must do. I guess there is no-where too low, no-where too deep, that the everlasting arms aren't still underneath.....

I'm so glad that it uses the word 'underneath'..... when i was in hospital, i heard these words in my heart one night... like someone was whispering them to me... i didn't know they came from the Bible, i thought i was making it up..... i reasoned that surely God wouldn't be 'underneath' things, surely He should be above?... yet somehow i knew it was true..... that underneath the bed i was lying in were the everlasting arms... underneath me when i fell and had a seizure were the everlasting arms... underneath me when i sinned were the everlasting arms... that underneath everything, however far i fell, were the everlasting arms..... and that must still be true today... underneath are the everlasting arms.

"There is none like God... who rides through the heavens to your help... The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms. And he thrust out the enemy before you and said 'Destroy'. " - Deut 33

Catch 22 Situations..

I was thinking last night that sometimes life can seem to trap people. For example, if you take a person who is afraid of flying, and tell them that they can be free, that there is a centre that offers help with the perfect solution for their flying fear, but this centre is over the other side of the World, and the only way for them to get there is to fly... it's a catch 22 situation... it seems virtually impossible for them to be cured.... how can they get there if they are too afraid to fly there? but how can they lose their fear of flying if they can't get to the only treatment centre? I know this is a pretty poor example, but it's the best i could think of when i am as sleep-deprived as i am today.

I guess what i'm getting at, is that often we are faced with these kind of situations. Even someone who doesn't know God is said to be blind or spiritually dead... how can a blind or dead person see or recognise God? They can't.... without having eyes or without being given life. Sometimes i think that the commands of God can feel a bit like this... like God is telling us to do things that feel impossible... but then i was thinking just now about a quote i once heard by John Bunyan:

Run, John, run, the law commands

But gives us neither feet nor hands.

Far better news the gospel brings:

It bids us fly and gives us wings.

It reminds me of an article i once read by John Piper. In fact, i had forgotten about it until i started writing this post (which i must admit i started writing from a completely negative viewpoint), and so i just looked the article up. He says

"We are duty-bound to run, even though our feet are willfully frozen in the ice of sin. We can't run in ourselves, and so the commands of the law condemn. And the gospel is not different in having no commands, no conditions. Flying is harder than running. But 'Far better news the gospel brings: it bids us fly and gives us wings.' The fatalist says, "I can't fly. I can't even run. My feet are frozen in my genetic makeup and my dysfunctional family of origin. And besides that I don't have any wings. I cannot fly. That's the way i am" But over and against that fatalism, the gospel says, "Fly!.." "

In essence, we have to trust that God gives what He commands. As Piper says "If God says to desire, when we don't desire, then we trust Him that He must have some power we don't have. There must be a way.... God commands it. So there must be a way. I will not settle for less than what God commands, even if it is a command to fly.... "

I guess too that this is at the heart of the definition of faith. It says in Hebrews 11.1 that "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." So even if you cannot fly, if it seems impossible, you still trust God. You have faith that if He commands it, He will enable you to do it.. and this faith, this trust, this reaching out to take hold of what God says, is actually the very thing that brings it into being.. it's the substance of what you hope for. And i reckon that often, as God speaks His commands to us, He actually creates the answer to them in us as well. Like when He spoke the World into being. It wasn't that He commanded there to be light, and somehow light had to conjure itself up of it's own accord... His commanding was the thing that created the light. His words brought it about... all the power came from Him. So, i guess, even though sometimes it seems like we live in catch 22 situations, this isn't actually the case.. though i wrote this post initially thinking that so many people in this world are just trapped and i was feeling disheartened as i wondered how they could ever be free, the truth is that actually with God all things are possible.. even those things that seem most impossible... like flying, when you are too afraid, or have no wings.

.. there is always hope..

"What a mass of hideous sickness must have thrust itself under the eye of Jesus! Yet we read not that He was disgusted, but patiently waited on every case. What a singular variety of evils must have been met at His feet! What sickening ulcers and putrefying sores! Yet He was ready for every new shape of the monster evil, and was victor over it in every form. Let the arrow fly from what quarter it might, He quenched its fiery power. The heat of fever, or the cold of dropsy; the lethargy of palsy, or the rage of madness; the filth of leprosy, or the darkness of ophthalmia - all knew the power of His word, and fled at His command. In every corner of the field He was triumphant over evil, and received the homage of delivered captives. He came, He saw, He conquered everywhere... Whatever my own case may be, the beloved Physician can heal me; and whatever may be the state of others whom i remember at this moment in prayer, I may have hope in Jesus that He will be able to heal them of their sins. My child, my friend, my dearest one, i can have hope for each, for all, when i remember the healing power of my Lord; and on my own account, however severe my struggle with sins and infirmities, i may yet be of good cheer. He who on earth walked the hospitals, still dispenses His grace and works wonders among the sons of men: let me go to Him at once in right earnest." - Spurgeon

Being Weak

I was talking to my Mother today about a quote which points out how we are all equal in sleep... the rich, the poor, the weak, the strong..... we all need sleep and are equal in this need.... none of us can live without it... we don't have infinite strength, like God, who is the only One who never needs to sleep, but we are weak beings, created to rest as much as work.

I've been thinking recently about the fact that i'm a weak person. In pretty much every respect. Physically, i'm very weak, and can do about a tenth of what the average person can do... even when i'm not having seizures. And i think i'm pretty weak in most other areas too... i'm hyper-sensitive, easily worry and get easily overwhelmed with life.. generally speaking i am weak. My Church pastor even told me this, not in a negative way at all, he said it graciously, but still he said that i would fall into the 'weak' category. I've been thinking about how much the world makes out weakness to be a bad thing... in many ways i wish i wasn't so weak.. but the thing is, the only strength that really counts for anything is the strength that is in God. So what if i had the physical strength of a body-builder, or the mental-strength of a high-flying business man, or the emotional-strength of a paramedic... if this strength doesn't come from God, if it doesn't serve God, then it's all meaningless. In Micah 6.8, it says that what God requires of us is "to act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with our God".... there is no mention of strength there... no mention of working a certain amount of hours... it's all to do with your heart and your attitudes.... you could be the weakest person on earth and still fulfill those requirements, and still live in a pleasing way to God.

The thing i realised too, is that sometimes 'strong' people can look at those who are weak in a negative way... like they think that somehow they are better than them, like they think that the strength they have is due to their own greatness, due to their own merit..... i realised, that i feel upset when people write weak people off, as if somehow they think they should know how to be stronger.... What the strong people don't seem to realise is, that they can't boast in their strength.... everything we are and everything we have is a gift... any strength we have comes from God, and if it's not coming from God, then it's not worth having anyway..... and God chooses to give to people differently, according to what He sees as fit... according to His good purpose... according to His plans... Some people are weak, some people are stronger... but God is infinitely wise and designs it this way, so that we know how to work together, how to rely on one another, how to be a proper body, how to support each other... how to use this different appointing of strength as a vessel for His love and mercy and grace...and most importantly so we continue to rely on Him.

And the other thing is, according to the Bible, it's not physical strength that counts anyway.... not even strength of spirit... God says "blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven"..... And He says that "the joy of the Lord is your strength" (Neh 8.10)... and such joy comes directly from God, not from us.... it says that "His delight is not in the strength of the horse, nor His pleasure in the legs of a man, but the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear Him, those who hope in His steadfast love." (Psalm 147.10-11) It says that "'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me... For when i am weak, then i am strong." (2 Cor 12.9-11) That's an incredible statement... "When i am weak, then i am strong." And i guess it is real and true because Christ lives IN us... and Christ is the strongest person in the universe... Christ IS strength.... no matter how weak or strong we feel, no matter what we are like, we have complete strength in Christ, because His strength dwells in us... we might not 'feel' it in the ways we think we should, we might not even know how to recognise it, because it is so different to worldly strength, but i believe it is true none-the-less. I am weak... utterly, completely, helplessly weak... yet I am strong... infinitely, completely strong in Christ...not because of anything in my human nature, but just because Christ lives in me.... and that is the only strength i really want. It's hard to learn the depth of our own weakness... i actually think it's a pretty painful process... and i'll admit that it's frustrating to be so limited in what you feel you can do... it's so different to what we expect of ourselves and what the world teaches us... but i'm so glad that God doesn't disregard the weak, but has affection for them, and tenderly cares for them.... infact, i reckon that there is a kind of grace given to us when we graciously accept what we are not, and simply trust in what God is. After all, it's far better to put our trust in God, than in ourselves... and the weaker we are, the more we realise that we truly need Him and can only live through and by Him.

The most beautiful thing though, is that God doesn't leave the weak as they are. Even though being weak enables us to rely on God more, He still promises that in the end "those who wait for the Lord will renew their strength" (Isa 40.31) God transforms all things, and promises so much good to those who are weak and humbly put their hope in Him... I'm so grateful for this.

He bears our afflictions

"In all their affliction He was afflicted, And the angel of His presence saved them; In His love and in His mercy He redeemed them, and He lifted them and carried them all the days of old." - Isaiah 63.9

Ink Patterns

Today i discovered how pretty ink looks when you drop it into bottles. I had a bad case of procrastination. I was supposed to be packing to go back down South for a while, but my head wouldn't work, so instead i found myself doing pointless things and wasting time... like i'm doing right now. I'm thinking that i quite want to do another stop motion, based around ink patterns, once i've finished my other one... although i have no idea why i'm even doing any, it's not like it's for a specific purpose... just another example of how much i waste my time! Anyway, this isn't meant to be a 'good' photo, i just like the way ink moves through water. Right, back to what i should be doing... packing...

Because He said it.

"Remember the word unto Thy servant, upon which Thou hast caused me to hope." - Psalm 119.49

"You have no merit of your own to plead why He should pardon you, but plead His written engagements and He will perform them.... Are you faint and feeble because your way is rough and you are weary? Here is the promise - 'He giveth power to the faint.' When you read such a promise, take it back to the great Promiser, and ask Him to fulfil His own word..... Take that promise to the throne continually; do not plead anything else, but go to God over and over again with this - 'Lord, Thou hast said it; do as Thou hast said.'.. " - Spurgeon

"He who has promised is faithful." - Hebrews 10:23

The flower that won't die

I'm trying to make my first stop motion at the moment.... it was going to be about a flower dying, but the little flower i am photographing doesn't seem to want to die... never before have i been so eager to see signs of death in a flower.. i feel slightly cruel for wishing it's short life away.... and clearly i am very impatient! Whilst waiting i've taken nearly 300 photos just messing with the light and lens...

Meadows...

Recently i've spent quite a bit of time in the fields near my house. And i realised today just how thankful i am that i can do this. When we moved up here, i prayed that God would give us a meadow for a back garden. I knew it was a selfish prayer, and i only said it in a half-joking way, but truly i believe God answered it and blessed us with an amazing meadow one minute from our house. There is field after field that you can walk through, and in the Summer they are proper meadows, scattered with all kinds of wild flowers and cows... and they are nearly always completely free of people.

Last Summer, when i was going through my drug withdrawal, i went for a walk in the meadow every evening and watched the sun set. For the first few weeks i didn't leave the house at all, and then i started to take short walks in the meadow as i began to get some strength back. I was still very weak, and the first few times we had to drive just to get to the entrance and then my Mum had to support me the whole time and hold me up. It's weird to remember this now; how i was shaking with every step and had to walk so slowly. I knew that i needed to start to leave the house and that meadow gradually gave me a bit of fresh air and a change of scenery when i was feeling so horribly anxious and ill... Admittedly i couldn't smell the fresh air, i was hallucinating through various senses, and smelt and tasted blood and fire (strange i know), but i knew i was in fresh air nonetheless. Honestly, i am so thankful that we had that meadow that Summer. And i'm still thankful that we have it. I love it at the moment, now that it's Spring time and the trees are full of blossom. Even though i may still spend my days in a generally unsure and confused state, when i go and walk in the empty fields then i do feel peaceful again. I know you can't live your life away from people though; as my sister always says "God didn't die for a field of buttercups" (or something similar) and she is right. But at the same time, i am incredibly grateful that God still created buttercups, even if it's just to make us smile and refresh us enough to spend the rest of our time with the people that God did die for... or even if it's just for those in between times, when being amongst people is more than we can cope with, like in my drug withdrawal..... or for when you need to be reminded of just how awesome and skillful God, our creator, is.

So there is hope for your future...

"They will come with weeping; they will pray as i bring them back. I will lead them beside streams of water on a level path where they will not stumble, because I am Israel's Father..... For the Lord will ransom Jacob and redeem them from the hand of those stronger than they. They will come and shout for joy on the heights of Zion; they will rejoice in the bounty of the Lord.... They will be like a well-watered garden, and they will sorrow no more......... "So there is hope for your future," declares the Lord....... I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint." - Jeremiah 31

blood white snow

This might make no sense, but as i sat in an empty field today i started thinking through my eyes. There was blood falling from the sky, like heavy rain washing a battle field clean, tear-drops flowing from a broken man's brow. As it fell, it turned to snow, coating the earth in a white overall. Just like that: deep red became pure white. A blood-filled day became a winter's night. Somber trees were dressed in blood-white clothes. And in silent submission they gently glistened from the shower of red-turned-white.

But not every tree was robed in white light. Scattered throughout the winter scene were trees raging with fire; ashes in place of flakes of snow. As blood-red drops touched their tips they were instantly consumed, all that was left was a smouldering heap of blackened wood.

It's a strange mix: red and white. Some places reaping fire, some places reaping snow. A landscape of undeniable winter beauty, mingled with the charcoal remains of ruined greenery. And there were no clues, no telling if the blood-offering from the sky would consume with fire or if it would adorn a tree with a blanket of snow.

I couldn't see the source of blood in the sky. It covered an expanse that was more than my eyes could scan. But i know it was the life-blood of life it's very self. I know it was so pure, it could only cleanse or consume all that it fell upon; the blood of holiness, the blood of spotless love. I know it ran from wounds of agonising pain; the blood of victory, victory won in death.

After some time the blood sky faded and i saw that the snow covered trees were awaking to a spring day. Though they had not been consumed with fire, they had still slept in death, but now buds and blossom pushed through the white blanket as it melted away, and it was evident they bore a strength of life far greater than ever before. The air was alive with the sound of song, and the warmth of life. And there was no trace of the trees which had been destroyed. All that was left was new, transformed by the cleansing life given in the blood white snow, transformed by the sacrificial love of nothing less than a spotless Lamb.

"Cleanse me with hyssop and i will be clean; wash me and i will be whiter than snow." - Psalm 51.7

"Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool." - Isaiah 1.18

"He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed." - Isaiah 53.5

Upon His hands

"Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands" - Isaiah 49:16

"Heaven and earth may well be astonished that rebels should obtain so great a nearness to the heart of infinite love as to be written upon the palms of His hands. 'I have graven thee.' It does not say, 'Thy name'. The name is there, but that is not all: 'I have graven thee'. See the fulness of this! I have graven thy person, thine image, thy case, thy weakness, thy wants, thy works; I have graven thee, everything about thee, all that concerns thee; I have put thee altogether there. Wilt thou ever say again that thy God hath forsaken thee when He has graven thee upon His own palms?" - Spurgeon

Mono No Aware

Hammock - Mono No Aware from David Altobelli on Vimeo.

Here's another video by the same guy that directed the video i posted recently, of the boy and paper birds. I like this one too...

Blessed are the poor in spirit...

I watched Master Chef this week. The contestants cooked for well revered chefs and guests of high status. They pointed out what a privilege it was to get to cook for such important people - people who knew all about the finest foods, people who were ranked highly in the World's eyes, including royalty. They cooked foods and dishes that i've never even heard of. I've got nothing against Master Chef, i enjoyed watching it, but here's the thing......

I couldn't help but think how different their banquets were to the banquet we will have with Jesus one day..... When we will eat with the God who delights to dwell with those who are contrite and lowly.... With the God who says blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.... When instead of men who are highly revered in the World's eyes, we will eat with those who are poor, meek, persecuted and rejected by the World.... In the parable that Jesus gives in Luke 14 He refers to such a banquet, and how those who were originally invited didn't come, because they were too caught up in Worldly concerns, so instead he sends someone out into the streets and brings in "the poor and crippled and blind and lame." And these are the ones who get to enjoy the great feast, a feast which will undoubtedly be far better than any Master Chef endeavour... though i imagine the food will be of little importance when you are in the company of Jesus and are satisfied entirely in Him.

And the message that Jesus teaches us too, is that it's an honour to serve those who are the poorest of the poor... those who have no social standing, those who can't ever repay you, those who don't even really acknowledge your efforts, or praise you for them. In the upside-down way that the gospel works, it's actually a greater honour to give your bread to a hungry boy who barely has a name, let alone a home, than it is to cook for a King. Though it's a message that we probably avoid far too much, because the truth is we often like to receive recognition for our efforts, it actually says in Luke 14: "When you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you.".... And what's most beautiful about this, is that Jesus also says "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me"... So nothing anyone does is lost, or meaningless, even if no-one on Earth ever sees or knows, if it's done out of love for Jesus, and done as though the person being served is Jesus Himself.

Sing, O barren.

"Sing, O barren, break forth and cry aloud." - Isa 54.1

"But what can i sing about? I cannot talk about the present, and even the past looks full of barrenness. Ah! I can sing of Jesus Christ..... What is my barreness? It is the platform for His fruit-creating power. What is my desolation? It is the black-setting for the sapphire of His everlasting love. I will go in poverty, i will go in helplessness, i will go in all my shame and backsliding, i will tell Him that i am still His child, and in confidence in His faithful heart, even i, the barren one, will sing and cry aloud." - Spurgeon

Love

"Hear, O Israel... you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might." - Deut 6:4-7

"To be commanded to love God at all, let alone in the wilderness, is like being commanded to be well when we are sick, to sing for joy when we are dying of thirst, to run when our legs are broken. But this is the great and first commandment nonetheless. Even in the wilderness - especially in the wilderness - you shall love Him.

"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" As Christ speaks these words, he too is in the wilderness. He speaks them when all is lost. He speaks them when there is nothing even he can hear except the croak of his own voice and when as far as even he can see there is no God to hear him. And in a way his words are a love song, the greatest love song of them all. In a way his words are the words we all of us must speak before we know what it means to love God as we are commanded to love Him.... "My God, my God."... Not even the cross, not even death, can destroy his love for God. Not even God can destroy his love for God because the love he loves God with is God's love empowering Him to love in return with all His heart even when His heart is all but broken.

But to love God is not a goal we have to struggle toward on our own, because what at it's heart the gospel is all about is that God Himself moves us toward it even when we believe he has forsaken us. The final secret i think is this: that the words 'You shall love the Lord your God' become in the end less a command than a promise. And the promise is that, yes, on the weary feet of faith and the fragile wings of hope, we will come to love him at last as from the first he has loved us - loved us even in the wilderness, especially in the wilderness, because He has been in the wilderness with us. He has been in the wilderness for us. He has been acquainted with our grief. And, loving Him, we will come at last to love each other...... "

- Quote by Frederick Buechner, taken from 'Secrets in the Dark' -

The voice of song comes after sorrow...

"For the Lord comforts Zion; and makes her wilderness like Eden, her desert like the garden of the Lord; joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the voice of song........ And the ransomed of the Lord shall return and come to Zion with singing; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away." - Isaiah 51:3, 11

The triumph of a slaughtered lamb

"They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb" - Rev 12:11

I read an article recently, written by a friend of a friend, a guy called Jonny. It was a review of Carson's book "Scandalous" and he discussed the Chapter of the book entitled "The strange triumph of a slaughtered Lamb." I've been thinking about it over the last few days and have to just say that i am truly so glad that we overcome by the blood of the Lamb, and none of our own efforts. This is the only plea that any of us have when we approach the throne of God. Every single person alike. No matter how sinful we are, or how good we might appear to be. No matter how much we do, or how little we do. Whether we've had a good day, or a bad day. We all come to Him alike, and we all overcome satan's accusations, simply and purely because of the blood of a slaughtered Lamb.

I checked out the original chapter of Carson's book, after reading the article. He writes about how satan not only accuses us to make us feel dirty and defeated, but he accuses us before God. He goes on to say "What can we say in response? Will our defense be, "Oh, i'm not that bad!"? You will never beat satan that way. What you must say is, "satan, i'm even worse than you think, but God loves me anyway. He has accepted me because of the blood of the Lamb.""

Ultimately, as Jonny said in his article, "despite all of our works, or lack of works.... the heavens rejoice and those who dwell in them because of the triumph of a slaughtered lamb." And for this i am incredibly grateful.